To really get this, you have to:
1. Know something about Chennai
2. Have heard of Carnatic music
3. Be familiar with the music scene down south
4. Have read the HitchHikers Guide to the galaxy
5. Be acquainted with Wolfram Alpha
6. Be familiar with Tamil movies
7. Have grown up among/around Tamil people
8. Be a computer science graduate (probably not necessary, but i am not aware of any other career paths that go through the Turing Test)
The pseudo Tamilian than i am, i'm sure there are a lot of references there that i have missed. But i absolutely love it that i "get" a joke that not too many people on this planet will get. It makes me feel special. (More special, actually, than i would feel if i had "made" the joke.) Like there is a secret club i belong to and its a private joke we share. Which is why i love xkcd so much. Though i'm surrounded for the most part of the day by people who "get" it, and probably get it better than i do, it still makes me feel like i belong.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
New phone resolutions
Once upon a time there lived a girl. She had a phone, not that she didnt, but it was ancient and pulling on on life support. She'd decided to do the kind thing by pulling the plug, but couldnt actually do so until she had a replacement. So she looked high and she looked low and she asked around and she got utterly confused. She was fuzzy on the requirements, she was fuzzy on the budget, she was fuzzy on why she needed a phone at all! (Dont tell anyone, but her STD bill for the last month was 10 rupees.) Then one day she saw an ad in the newspaper for a phone that looked decent (that was important to her, who woulda thunk), matched some set of requirements and budget, and her brother did not threaten her with - its either me or the phone. So one fine Sunday she went and bought it.
That night, the God of mobile phones, in an attempt to regain territory from the God of equipments bought in a fit of passion that then spend all of their shelf life in a box on a shelf came in her dream and gave her one tablet with 5 commandments.
1. Thou shalt carry thy phone. Everywhere.
So she does. Everywhere. And when she forgets, she crosses floors without a thought to go get it.
2. Thou shalt not miss calls.
She doesnt. She simply cuts them off. And then follows commandment 3.
3. Thou shalt call people up.
She does. Even though she knows people are likely to fall off their chairs in surprise and break their legs if she calls them up just like that. She believes they will agree it was worth it. After all, as she knows from personal experience, breaking a leg is not as bad as it is made out to be. She can see herself running out of people though. (Damn you you yes yay and you kay and germany. Gimme my people back!)
4. Thou shalt charge thy phone
She does. Religiously.
5. Thou shalt know thy phone
She is getting there. Already she can set the alarm and play the radio (which she still thinks is the coolest part of the whole thing) and take pictures and use the dictionary without throwing the phone at the wall in frustration. She next plans to tackle the bluetooth monster.
Its been three days and so far, the God of mobile phones has no cause to complain.
That night, the God of mobile phones, in an attempt to regain territory from the God of equipments bought in a fit of passion that then spend all of their shelf life in a box on a shelf came in her dream and gave her one tablet with 5 commandments.
1. Thou shalt carry thy phone. Everywhere.
So she does. Everywhere. And when she forgets, she crosses floors without a thought to go get it.
2. Thou shalt not miss calls.
She doesnt. She simply cuts them off. And then follows commandment 3.
3. Thou shalt call people up.
She does. Even though she knows people are likely to fall off their chairs in surprise and break their legs if she calls them up just like that. She believes they will agree it was worth it. After all, as she knows from personal experience, breaking a leg is not as bad as it is made out to be. She can see herself running out of people though. (Damn you you yes yay and you kay and germany. Gimme my people back!)
4. Thou shalt charge thy phone
She does. Religiously.
5. Thou shalt know thy phone
She is getting there. Already she can set the alarm and play the radio (which she still thinks is the coolest part of the whole thing) and take pictures and use the dictionary without throwing the phone at the wall in frustration. She next plans to tackle the bluetooth monster.
Its been three days and so far, the God of mobile phones has no cause to complain.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Notes to the future me
Ideally, i'd like to yell this so the whole world can hear. Or at least, my world. Since that isnt happening, i'll yell it on my blog.
<begin imagining caps>
You can either get things done or do them your way. Wanting to get things done your way is just plain greedy. If i believed in a universe that was interested in you and interested in being fair, i'd tell you that it'd give you one under the ear. (I know i ruined kaan ke neeche, but nothing in English comes close.)
<end imagining caps>
Me, right now i'm in that in between place where i neither do things nor get them done. I know its not going to last, so when it over and i have to pick one or the other, can you please shove this post in my face?
<begin imagining caps>
You can either get things done or do them your way. Wanting to get things done your way is just plain greedy. If i believed in a universe that was interested in you and interested in being fair, i'd tell you that it'd give you one under the ear. (I know i ruined kaan ke neeche, but nothing in English comes close.)
<end imagining caps>
Me, right now i'm in that in between place where i neither do things nor get them done. I know its not going to last, so when it over and i have to pick one or the other, can you please shove this post in my face?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I'm back. Yes. Again.
First i decided to write. Then i decided not to. And then, i decided to write about not writing. (Now you know, a decision for me, most of the times, is the thought that is topmost in my head at that point.) But then i decided that would be like coming out of a long comfortable silence that no one minded, to announce the arrival of more silence. And now, apparently, i have decided to write.
So, the silence. Work, sure. Long days, weekends. And thanks to my once broken leg, i have been granted the super-harmful superpower of being able to work from home. All of which boiled down to the citi never sleeping. But, it was sort of fun. After a long long time, i got to code off the seat off my pants. No ten people looking over the design before you get to put one semi-colon. Which of course meant that i had to do the damn thing ten times over. But it was fun. Yes. I'm telling you.
Plus, busy days are easy days. When ghosts from your past come visiting, you can send them back there with one look. Not now, mummy is busy and they go away quietly, no questions asked. Not that you are ever short of excuses, but none is as easy as this.
My back started its 6 monthly (since i can never be sure if bi-annually means twice a year or once in two years) ritual of giving up. I felt like a pregnant woman all of Monday. Only i wasnt, so i couldnt hold my back and limp around and make huge groaning noises and waddle like a duck every time someone called me to their desk. It is being intensively taken care of right now (40 minutes a day i do nothing but. Who can keep that up??) and is almost back to behaving itself.
On a trip to some other place there happened to be a crossword and i happened to go in and happened to see My Friend Sancho. Bought. Finished. Liked. But dont listen to me. I think i'd decided to like it before i bought it. It is, you know, _real_. And funny. Sustained giggles when the mannequin attacks him and a certain muslim... item. And it helped me shoo away the ghosts that weekend. Very effective.
Okay. Back to some silence now. Hopefully not very long.
So, the silence. Work, sure. Long days, weekends. And thanks to my once broken leg, i have been granted the super-harmful superpower of being able to work from home. All of which boiled down to the citi never sleeping. But, it was sort of fun. After a long long time, i got to code off the seat off my pants. No ten people looking over the design before you get to put one semi-colon. Which of course meant that i had to do the damn thing ten times over. But it was fun. Yes. I'm telling you.
Plus, busy days are easy days. When ghosts from your past come visiting, you can send them back there with one look. Not now, mummy is busy and they go away quietly, no questions asked. Not that you are ever short of excuses, but none is as easy as this.
My back started its 6 monthly (since i can never be sure if bi-annually means twice a year or once in two years) ritual of giving up. I felt like a pregnant woman all of Monday. Only i wasnt, so i couldnt hold my back and limp around and make huge groaning noises and waddle like a duck every time someone called me to their desk. It is being intensively taken care of right now (40 minutes a day i do nothing but. Who can keep that up??) and is almost back to behaving itself.
On a trip to some other place there happened to be a crossword and i happened to go in and happened to see My Friend Sancho. Bought. Finished. Liked. But dont listen to me. I think i'd decided to like it before i bought it. It is, you know, _real_. And funny. Sustained giggles when the mannequin attacks him and a certain muslim... item. And it helped me shoo away the ghosts that weekend. Very effective.
Okay. Back to some silence now. Hopefully not very long.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Jaago re!
Election kitne baje khulta hai appa?
Appa I'll come with you to the booth.
Appa why dont i have an voters card like you do?
Appa i cant find my name :(
Appa you have my passport no?
But the question i'm most proud not having asked this time. Whom are you going to vote for, Appa? We ended up voting for different people, different parties, but probably not very different lives.
I went to the ink dotting lady (the dot i used to dream of as a kid is now a thin long non-descript line) and confidently thrust my thumb to be dotted. I would have died of embaressment but for the following:
1. The guy checking the identity proof stared at my passport for a long time and then hesitantly asked - Madam, is this your Voter ID Card? I think i can see how he got there. Everyone gives me a Voter ID card. This one seems to have given me a book. Why would she give me a book? She doesnt look particularly mad. Plus, it does have a photo. Maybe the EC now gives a booklet full of Voter ID cards? One page per election? Yeah. I better ask.
2. The boss sitting at a faraway chair heard passport and yelled back - Dont accept her passport as identity proof unless it has a photograph!
Appa I'll come with you to the booth.
Appa why dont i have an voters card like you do?
Appa i cant find my name :(
Appa you have my passport no?
But the question i'm most proud not having asked this time. Whom are you going to vote for, Appa? We ended up voting for different people, different parties, but probably not very different lives.
I went to the ink dotting lady (the dot i used to dream of as a kid is now a thin long non-descript line) and confidently thrust my thumb to be dotted. I would have died of embaressment but for the following:
1. The guy checking the identity proof stared at my passport for a long time and then hesitantly asked - Madam, is this your Voter ID Card? I think i can see how he got there. Everyone gives me a Voter ID card. This one seems to have given me a book. Why would she give me a book? She doesnt look particularly mad. Plus, it does have a photo. Maybe the EC now gives a booklet full of Voter ID cards? One page per election? Yeah. I better ask.
2. The boss sitting at a faraway chair heard passport and yelled back - Dont accept her passport as identity proof unless it has a photograph!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Live bloging
At this point, i have no idea what this post is going to be about. But i've been silent for too long. My blog cannot dry up and die a neglected death. If i go, i'll go with a bang. A pop, at the very least.
Okay, enough melodrama. Aah, i think i got it now! I'll make this one about culture. No wait. That can be a post of its own, if i ever get around to feeling less lazy. IPL is on. I wish i could make up my mind once and for all whether or not i am interested in cricket. No, i didnt suffer from the great disillusion that most people who loved the game in simpler times seem to have done. I still get excited at the prospect of a match. I follow scores on cricinfo especially if people around are doing so. I read newspaper reports about it with interest. But i cant remember the last time i actually sat through a match. Not even the 2 minutes noodles 20-20 version.
Change. What do you do when call x up starts to appear on your do-to list? Heck, even returning missed calls means having to overcome too much of resistance. You throw your phone away! Good idea no? Really, i dont know why i bother with the thing anyway. I get like one call a month. There is a virus or something that drains the battery so i have to charge it everyday. Everyday. Whether i use it or not. On a good day, my phone lies on my desk all day. Most days its locked in my drawer with my dabba. If i were kinder i'd put it out of its misery. How can my phone have a life if i dont?
Change. Last one, really. Its true what they say. As you grow older, its more and more difficult to change. And not just because you've got used to a way of life. But more because you think you know best. At least for yourself. You think you have earned the right to live your way. Everyone around you should kindly adjust.
Change. Okay fine. I cheated. Kya ukhaad loge? Standing behind you like a rock, promising love and support for life, whatever road you happened to take. Or standing in your way, yelling over my dead body if they think they see you going on the wrong road. Is there nothing in between?
Okay, enough melodrama. Aah, i think i got it now! I'll make this one about culture. No wait. That can be a post of its own, if i ever get around to feeling less lazy. IPL is on. I wish i could make up my mind once and for all whether or not i am interested in cricket. No, i didnt suffer from the great disillusion that most people who loved the game in simpler times seem to have done. I still get excited at the prospect of a match. I follow scores on cricinfo especially if people around are doing so. I read newspaper reports about it with interest. But i cant remember the last time i actually sat through a match. Not even the 2 minutes noodles 20-20 version.
Change. What do you do when call x up starts to appear on your do-to list? Heck, even returning missed calls means having to overcome too much of resistance. You throw your phone away! Good idea no? Really, i dont know why i bother with the thing anyway. I get like one call a month. There is a virus or something that drains the battery so i have to charge it everyday. Everyday. Whether i use it or not. On a good day, my phone lies on my desk all day. Most days its locked in my drawer with my dabba. If i were kinder i'd put it out of its misery. How can my phone have a life if i dont?
Change. Last one, really. Its true what they say. As you grow older, its more and more difficult to change. And not just because you've got used to a way of life. But more because you think you know best. At least for yourself. You think you have earned the right to live your way. Everyone around you should kindly adjust.
Change. Okay fine. I cheated. Kya ukhaad loge? Standing behind you like a rock, promising love and support for life, whatever road you happened to take. Or standing in your way, yelling over my dead body if they think they see you going on the wrong road. Is there nothing in between?
Monday, March 30, 2009
Its DONE!
I did it! Seven whole days of eating according to syllabus!! GM diet shall now proudly head the extra curricular activities section of my resume. A few years ago, i would have been super impressed with myself, not to mention super ashamed. Today, after a little gloat, i'll take it in my stride.
Day 1: Only fruits. Bad. At the end of the day, i was willing idlis to turn into fruits.
(People offered me pastries. They promised not to tell anyone, even.)
Day 2: Only vegetables. Worse. Worst, actually. Low on energy. Head ached, tooth followed. I dreamed of fruits.
(Someone got chocolates to work. People made sure i saw them eat.)
Day 3: Fruits and vegetables. Awesome! Woke up fresh. Felt great all day. Except for disconcertingly pleasing images of bakasur finishing off truckloads of food and breaking open watermelons for dessert.
(People offered me cream biscuits.)
Day 4: Milk and bananas. And wonder soup. The soup saved my day. Wasnt as bad as i'd convinced myself it would be.
(It was gudi padwa and people had modak and srikhand and basundi Waaaaaanh. I'm not exactly sure what basundi is, but it made me cry.)
Day 5: Tomatoes. LOTS. And brown rice and palak and rajma. Normal
Day 6: Vegetables. Brown rice. Sprouts. Tofu. Normal.
Day 7: Vegetables. Fruits. Brown rice. Sprouts. THE END!
I havent seen the results yet but i dont feel particularly light or fresh or super intelligent. Rather anti-climatic it is, at least after the first 4 days. But if the results are good, its a nice short cut to have!
Day 1: Only fruits. Bad. At the end of the day, i was willing idlis to turn into fruits.
(People offered me pastries. They promised not to tell anyone, even.)
Day 2: Only vegetables. Worse. Worst, actually. Low on energy. Head ached, tooth followed. I dreamed of fruits.
(Someone got chocolates to work. People made sure i saw them eat.)
Day 3: Fruits and vegetables. Awesome! Woke up fresh. Felt great all day. Except for disconcertingly pleasing images of bakasur finishing off truckloads of food and breaking open watermelons for dessert.
(People offered me cream biscuits.)
Day 4: Milk and bananas. And wonder soup. The soup saved my day. Wasnt as bad as i'd convinced myself it would be.
(It was gudi padwa and people had modak and srikhand and basundi Waaaaaanh. I'm not exactly sure what basundi is, but it made me cry.)
Day 5: Tomatoes. LOTS. And brown rice and palak and rajma. Normal
Day 6: Vegetables. Brown rice. Sprouts. Tofu. Normal.
Day 7: Vegetables. Fruits. Brown rice. Sprouts. THE END!
I havent seen the results yet but i dont feel particularly light or fresh or super intelligent. Rather anti-climatic it is, at least after the first 4 days. But if the results are good, its a nice short cut to have!
Monday, March 23, 2009
For want of a purpose
Who has Monday blues on a Monday evening?
I rock at feeling sorry for myself. I doubt if anyone does it better.
Ooh, i could watch that movie until its time to sleep.
Call him about that cake.
Call her.
Please? Its a good movie.
At least download the songs she was kind enough to send you.
Not even if it is the only thing that'll get me out of this bed? I suppose not.
Reply or she'll think you died.
I should go on that diet!
And that is how, from tomorrow, i go on the GM diet. The whole world has done it and survived, so i should not be so scared. But i am. Which is why the declaration. Kick me if i default.
I rock at feeling sorry for myself. I doubt if anyone does it better.
Ooh, i could watch that movie until its time to sleep.
Call him about that cake.
Call her.
Please? Its a good movie.
At least download the songs she was kind enough to send you.
Not even if it is the only thing that'll get me out of this bed? I suppose not.
Reply or she'll think you died.
I should go on that diet!
And that is how, from tomorrow, i go on the GM diet. The whole world has done it and survived, so i should not be so scared. But i am. Which is why the declaration. Kick me if i default.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
What if...
(Something i wrote a while ago. At that time i thought it needed polishing. Now i dont see why. Plus its Sunday. How can i not post on a Sunday?)
Imagine a time far far far away. Ahead. Imagine we have survived our own stupidity, imagine the sun did not turn into a red giant, imagine we, or whatever it is we have evolved into, still live on. There is some kind of society, and it engages most people in matters of survival. Let us imagine that that fulfills them, gives them a sense of purpose in life. Imagine that we humans have learnt a lot more about life and the universe but we havent learnt everything. There is still a lot of unknown that beckons.
Now we come to the problem. To go beyond where your forefathers have already gone, you have to get there first. However, the knowledge accumulated over the years is so much that one lifetime is not enough to take it all in. So while the journey is not over, no one lives long enough to get to the starting point.
The question is, will this frustrate just the academic minority or will it affect society as a whole? How much does the majority care about progress, unless it directly makes their life easier? And even then they find something else to complain about. Lack of scientific/philosophical/artistic progress should practically speaking not affect their lives at all. Survival is a full time and extremely fulfilling job for most. How important then is the illusion that we as a species are getting closer to the answers? Even if I as an individual am doing nothing to directly contribute to our getting there, and moving one step closer is in no way going to affect/improve my life. Will academia simply be abolished and everyone concentrate on survival/entertainment? Or will the feeling of purposelessness overwhelm society to such an extent that people would decide to destroy everything and start over, just to have somewhere to get to?
If it came to picking sides, which side would be your good side?
Imagine a time far far far away. Ahead. Imagine we have survived our own stupidity, imagine the sun did not turn into a red giant, imagine we, or whatever it is we have evolved into, still live on. There is some kind of society, and it engages most people in matters of survival. Let us imagine that that fulfills them, gives them a sense of purpose in life. Imagine that we humans have learnt a lot more about life and the universe but we havent learnt everything. There is still a lot of unknown that beckons.
Now we come to the problem. To go beyond where your forefathers have already gone, you have to get there first. However, the knowledge accumulated over the years is so much that one lifetime is not enough to take it all in. So while the journey is not over, no one lives long enough to get to the starting point.
The question is, will this frustrate just the academic minority or will it affect society as a whole? How much does the majority care about progress, unless it directly makes their life easier? And even then they find something else to complain about. Lack of scientific/philosophical/artistic progress should practically speaking not affect their lives at all. Survival is a full time and extremely fulfilling job for most. How important then is the illusion that we as a species are getting closer to the answers? Even if I as an individual am doing nothing to directly contribute to our getting there, and moving one step closer is in no way going to affect/improve my life. Will academia simply be abolished and everyone concentrate on survival/entertainment? Or will the feeling of purposelessness overwhelm society to such an extent that people would decide to destroy everything and start over, just to have somewhere to get to?
If it came to picking sides, which side would be your good side?
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Maybe the connection is bad?
Hello? How you doin' up there? All good in the land of the gods? I was just wondering, you know, given all the spare time my life seems to be made up of, whether there is any chance that while making the world, you got so carried away by the beauty of the deep and meaningful questions your creations would come up with, that you, erm... forgot to put in the answers? Did you?
Hello?
<silence>
Yeah, i though so.
Hello?
<silence>
Yeah, i though so.
Monday, February 23, 2009
I am the world
Have you ever felt... complete? It comes to me, this feeling, usually when i'm alone with music. I may be by myself in my room or surrounded by humanity on a busy street, but world fades into the background. The wind blows just for me, the song plays just for me, its been written just for me and that is all there is to the world. I sing along cause there is no one there to laugh, you see? The world flashes by now and then, but it doesnt demand, doesnt hold me back, it just waves a cheery goodbye. And where ever it is i am going, the only thing i wish for is that i never get there.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Its all coming back to me
As yet another group leaves on yet another trip without me (i have not been to more places in the last few years than i have been to in all my life), i sit and remember the good times.
The first memorable one to Mahabaleshwar, with colleagues who were not yet friends. Came back a little surprised at how much fun it was.
To Mulshi on a Bike.
To Matheran, the fraudest hill station ever and Nagao, the best beach ever. The hood of the car came lose when we were coming back. We the girls were given some rope to secure our luggage. We tied the bags together like they were birthday presents we were tying ribbons on. Very pretty, very useless.
To Raigadh and Harihareshwar in the monsoon in a van breathing its last. That got stuck in the mud. People, people i know, just bent down and lifted the van. They could have done it with one little finger, i couldnt have been more impressed!
To Varandha Ghat. Lots of rain, lots of monkeys. And something happened to the keys so we had to break into our own car. And a waterfall.
A hurried one to Dive agar. We left in the morning with no idea where we were going and that is where we ended up. Swans.
To Ganpati Pule. Two car loads for the first time. The terrifying return journey where one by one everyone fell sick. Two healthy people remained, neither of whom could drive. 20 questions.
Rishikesh, rafting. I could write a book on it.
Agra, first time travel by general compartment.
Delhi, god knows how many times. Cannaught place. Saravana Bhavan.
Panchmarhi. The monkey, the buffalo, the goat.
Roorkee. The second most beautiful campus ever. A hurried trip to some hill station whose name i forget.
Manali, skiing. Book.
Some place near Allahabad, for bird watching. We saw one alleged pigeon.
Trivandrum. Our own TV, our own cook, a swing in the hall, a bathtub, we lived in luxury!
Calicut, the most beautiful campus ever.
Bombay, Goa. Weddings. Old friends.
Malshej. Water Kingdom. Unexpected. Fun.
As i write this, a small part of me timidly asks, maybe its enough? Maybe its time to let go? All of me answers, not in this life.
The first memorable one to Mahabaleshwar, with colleagues who were not yet friends. Came back a little surprised at how much fun it was.
To Mulshi on a Bike.
To Matheran, the fraudest hill station ever and Nagao, the best beach ever. The hood of the car came lose when we were coming back. We the girls were given some rope to secure our luggage. We tied the bags together like they were birthday presents we were tying ribbons on. Very pretty, very useless.
To Raigadh and Harihareshwar in the monsoon in a van breathing its last. That got stuck in the mud. People, people i know, just bent down and lifted the van. They could have done it with one little finger, i couldnt have been more impressed!
To Varandha Ghat. Lots of rain, lots of monkeys. And something happened to the keys so we had to break into our own car. And a waterfall.
A hurried one to Dive agar. We left in the morning with no idea where we were going and that is where we ended up. Swans.
To Ganpati Pule. Two car loads for the first time. The terrifying return journey where one by one everyone fell sick. Two healthy people remained, neither of whom could drive. 20 questions.
Rishikesh, rafting. I could write a book on it.
Agra, first time travel by general compartment.
Delhi, god knows how many times. Cannaught place. Saravana Bhavan.
Panchmarhi. The monkey, the buffalo, the goat.
Roorkee. The second most beautiful campus ever. A hurried trip to some hill station whose name i forget.
Manali, skiing. Book.
Some place near Allahabad, for bird watching. We saw one alleged pigeon.
Trivandrum. Our own TV, our own cook, a swing in the hall, a bathtub, we lived in luxury!
Calicut, the most beautiful campus ever.
Bombay, Goa. Weddings. Old friends.
Malshej. Water Kingdom. Unexpected. Fun.
As i write this, a small part of me timidly asks, maybe its enough? Maybe its time to let go? All of me answers, not in this life.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Books, TV etc
Heroes is back. And while i cant be anything but glad, it sometimes feels like the makers are playing chess with the characters. Every season they paint each character with a random colour, throw them on the board in some interesting starting position and then watch the fun. From there on, the horse jumps in steps of two and one, the bishop goes diagonal, the rook goes straight. Claire hyperacts, bytes off more than she can chew and what with two dads, keeps getting grounded. Peter manages to see black and white in a grey world. Hero wants to be a hero, its almost like he is looking for villains who will make him one. Bennett is "protecting his family" and that excuses everything. As the two percent of Nathan that cares for Peter excuses the naked greed of the remaining ninety eight. Sylar is well, Sylar... i wonder if they even bother to write new dialogs.
Finished with Philip K Dick's Counterclock World. Dont read this if you plan to read the book, but i wouldnt recommend the plan unless you like that kind of thing and know what you are getting into. Its not bad, the concept is an interesting one, a world where from 1986 time has started to go backwards. So dead people rise from their graves, get cured of whatever illness that killed them, get younger, become kids and finally disappear into a womb. Its filled with stuff that makes you chuckle at the cleverness, conversations start with goodbye and end with a hello. Food comes out of your mouth, is packaged and sent to supermarkets. And my favourite, oh shit is now oh food. The Library is the evil corporation, in charge of eradicating books that describe stuff that has no longer happened. (See how interesting it can get? One day they'll eradicate all of Mozart's music just because. But then, Mozart will rise from the grave and imagine what he'd create!) My problem is that i need a story! A setting like this, however imaginative, is just the background. I need characters in it to have adventures (which they do), to fight evil (which they do) and for there to be a spectacular end to it all (which there isnt). I'm beginning to see the beginnings of a faint line in the SFF universe. Asimov, Frank Herbert, Adams, Practchett, Orson Scott Card are all one side. The Le Guins and the Philip K Dicks on the other. Arthur C Clark is sitting on the fence, mocking me, daring me to push him over. And i cant. While his setting is his story, i love reading him so.
One second yesterday was the 123456789th one since epoch. Geeks all over the world celebrated. And i find this out from Pune Mirror. I will go drown myself now.
Finished with Philip K Dick's Counterclock World. Dont read this if you plan to read the book, but i wouldnt recommend the plan unless you like that kind of thing and know what you are getting into. Its not bad, the concept is an interesting one, a world where from 1986 time has started to go backwards. So dead people rise from their graves, get cured of whatever illness that killed them, get younger, become kids and finally disappear into a womb. Its filled with stuff that makes you chuckle at the cleverness, conversations start with goodbye and end with a hello. Food comes out of your mouth, is packaged and sent to supermarkets. And my favourite, oh shit is now oh food. The Library is the evil corporation, in charge of eradicating books that describe stuff that has no longer happened. (See how interesting it can get? One day they'll eradicate all of Mozart's music just because. But then, Mozart will rise from the grave and imagine what he'd create!) My problem is that i need a story! A setting like this, however imaginative, is just the background. I need characters in it to have adventures (which they do), to fight evil (which they do) and for there to be a spectacular end to it all (which there isnt). I'm beginning to see the beginnings of a faint line in the SFF universe. Asimov, Frank Herbert, Adams, Practchett, Orson Scott Card are all one side. The Le Guins and the Philip K Dicks on the other. Arthur C Clark is sitting on the fence, mocking me, daring me to push him over. And i cant. While his setting is his story, i love reading him so.
One second yesterday was the 123456789th one since epoch. Geeks all over the world celebrated. And i find this out from Pune Mirror. I will go drown myself now.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Questions
(Something i wrote very long ago. Since i seem to be in the mood to flush out stuff...)
Why me
Why you
Why square peg
Why round hole
Why me
Why you
Why us
In this whole wide world
When it is answers i seek
Why questions
Why me
Why you
Why square peg
Why round hole
Why me
Why you
Why us
In this whole wide world
When it is answers i seek
Why questions
Change
(Yes i've gone nuts with posts. So sue me.)
There is change in which you and world are on the same side. You are like a pebble lying in the river. You just lie there, the river just flows and one day you wake up to see all the rough edges gone. Smooth, you think, and wonder why people find it so difficult to change.
Then there is change where you are against the world. You are the agent, you have to fight to get to where you want. You discover the meaning of words like resistance and comfort zone and inertia. You come to see how deep traditions go, you come to see the strength of the world.
And there is change that wants to change the world. I dont think i'm allowed to even talk about it.
Is there a point to this? Probably none, other than the fact that i like to classify.
There is change in which you and world are on the same side. You are like a pebble lying in the river. You just lie there, the river just flows and one day you wake up to see all the rough edges gone. Smooth, you think, and wonder why people find it so difficult to change.
Then there is change where you are against the world. You are the agent, you have to fight to get to where you want. You discover the meaning of words like resistance and comfort zone and inertia. You come to see how deep traditions go, you come to see the strength of the world.
And there is change that wants to change the world. I dont think i'm allowed to even talk about it.
Is there a point to this? Probably none, other than the fact that i like to classify.
House, M.D.
You know how in movies the world sometimes seems to dance to your tune? Ad billboards, mannequins, statues on crossings, traffic policemen, everyone seems to be singing your song. It happening to me, but in a much more creepy way. Was watching House yesterday and this one character says to another who is stuck in a rut but doesnt know how to get out - The only wrong thing is to nothing. And i felt like hugging her. And slapping her.
Another interesting conversation in the same episode. (Yes, i get my dose of philosophy from TV series. Problem?) The patient is this famous cancer researcher who quit 8 months ago because her job wasnt making her happy. And is now learning to dance. And cook. The doctors at the hospital are all over her, not able to understand how anyone can do that. One of them used to be a plastic surgeon.
(Note: i made up the dialogs. They have better writers)
Ex-plastics guy: I used to love my job. The money, the hours, the people, everything. I gave all that up for a crappy job, a boss from hell, peanuts for pay. I'm not happy. But you know what, i can go home at night look myself in the mirror and say - i did something worthwhile today.
Ex-cancer-researcher: Yes, i miss that. But it just wasnt enough.
Damn. I always figured if i went after the satisfaction, the happiness would follow. Dont tell me i'll have to look for something that satisfies me AND makes me happy. I'll give everything up and go live in a cave. With wifi. I'll ask for nothing more.
Another interesting conversation in the same episode. (Yes, i get my dose of philosophy from TV series. Problem?) The patient is this famous cancer researcher who quit 8 months ago because her job wasnt making her happy. And is now learning to dance. And cook. The doctors at the hospital are all over her, not able to understand how anyone can do that. One of them used to be a plastic surgeon.
(Note: i made up the dialogs. They have better writers)
Ex-plastics guy: I used to love my job. The money, the hours, the people, everything. I gave all that up for a crappy job, a boss from hell, peanuts for pay. I'm not happy. But you know what, i can go home at night look myself in the mirror and say - i did something worthwhile today.
Ex-cancer-researcher: Yes, i miss that. But it just wasnt enough.
Damn. I always figured if i went after the satisfaction, the happiness would follow. Dont tell me i'll have to look for something that satisfies me AND makes me happy. I'll give everything up and go live in a cave. With wifi. I'll ask for nothing more.
Working from home
Is strange. New.
Is filled with moments, at least in the first couple of days, when you will want to strangle someone and relish watching them die (those more knowledgeable say you get used to living with the feeling).
Is lonely.
Is terribly inefficient. Yahoo Messenger will take you a hour to setup. Mails will take ages to open up. And will be about sweets from near and far, which will make you want to cry.
Is liberating.
Has conference calls in which people will mumble among themselves and unless they address you by name, you can best help things by shutting up and counting sheep.
Corrupts.
Makes you proud once you learn to control temptation. Especially around 2.30 p.m. You'll be able to sit on the bed all day and not give in. By the end of the week, you'll have so gotten over it, you'd think nothing of a 5 minute fling, knowing it will not lead to anything more permanent.
Is not half bad! I think i'm ready to break another leg.
Is filled with moments, at least in the first couple of days, when you will want to strangle someone and relish watching them die (those more knowledgeable say you get used to living with the feeling).
Is lonely.
Is terribly inefficient. Yahoo Messenger will take you a hour to setup. Mails will take ages to open up. And will be about sweets from near and far, which will make you want to cry.
Is liberating.
Has conference calls in which people will mumble among themselves and unless they address you by name, you can best help things by shutting up and counting sheep.
Corrupts.
Makes you proud once you learn to control temptation. Especially around 2.30 p.m. You'll be able to sit on the bed all day and not give in. By the end of the week, you'll have so gotten over it, you'd think nothing of a 5 minute fling, knowing it will not lead to anything more permanent.
Is not half bad! I think i'm ready to break another leg.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
A list (not of the linked variety)
I've been to Essel World. Had almost all my limbs in a cast (fine it was the same hand twice, in my world that counts as two hands). Now if only there could be a small flood outside my house that doesnt kill anyone, because of which we'd have to get out in tiny rowing boats, i can let go of my childhood and start on the business of fulfilling my adult fantasies.
Err... you know what i mean. Although i do wish they could be as clear cut as the childhood ones. The wooly fuzzy ones that i seem to be stuck with, very difficult to put a tick against one and say, yes, this one is done.
Being well on my way to the big 3, a friend asked me if i had a things to do before i turn blah list. I hemmed and hawed because obviously i hadnt thought of it like that, as yet another deadline. (I'm impervious to them, deadlines, they come and go with barely a blip on my existence). He then contributed to the first item on the list - make a list of things you want to do before you turn blah.
Its a good one, that one. Because making a list means you see a future. In which you have the power to do things. Something to work towards, something to tick mark. It means having moments best described by this awesome song from Ru-ba-ru:
यह जो पल, यह पल है सुहाना
जिंदगी जीने का एक छोटा सा बहाना
So yeah, i'll make a list.
Err... you know what i mean. Although i do wish they could be as clear cut as the childhood ones. The wooly fuzzy ones that i seem to be stuck with, very difficult to put a tick against one and say, yes, this one is done.
Being well on my way to the big 3, a friend asked me if i had a things to do before i turn blah list. I hemmed and hawed because obviously i hadnt thought of it like that, as yet another deadline. (I'm impervious to them, deadlines, they come and go with barely a blip on my existence). He then contributed to the first item on the list - make a list of things you want to do before you turn blah.
Its a good one, that one. Because making a list means you see a future. In which you have the power to do things. Something to work towards, something to tick mark. It means having moments best described by this awesome song from Ru-ba-ru:
यह जो पल, यह पल है सुहाना
जिंदगी जीने का एक छोटा सा बहाना
So yeah, i'll make a list.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Yaay! Blogpost material
Says one of the many messages on the cast on my leg. No one should be surprised that i hurt myself, but this one is cool in so many ways, where do i begin?
1. I didnt stumble. Or fall. Or miss a step. And yet within the span of a second there grew a lump of the kind they show in the mug-shots of goiter patients near my ankle.
Happened while i was skipping down the stairs, headed for our Friday bash. Friends gathered around. No one was sure how big ankles really are, so i was made to remove my other shoe so we could compare. Result was non-zero. Went back to my seat and waited for the burger that my Friday bash was reduced to.
2. Was driven to a big hospital in a big car by two big and very kind people.
My uncle tells me i missed Lata Mangeshkar being hospitalized there for a knee replacement surgery by a day. Damn.
3. Where i was wheeled around in a wheel chair! Something about a guy pushing you from behind, i dont know, it gives you a feeling of meeting the world head-on. Bring it on, i wanted to yell to all the curtains we went through, i'm ready for you! Genius that i am, i mastered operating the thing in the two minutes he left me alone with it. I'm ready to yettu podu on it, that is how comfortable i am.
4. One of the doctor's assistants came to look at the x-ray (in which my flat feet dont look flat. At all). He peered at the x-ray, squinted at it, tilted it at all angles, went a few steps back and started at it from a distance and in general spent a lot of time looking for whatever he was looking for in it. I wanted to tell him, what with me being such an expert on all things medical having watched Grey's Anatomy AND House AND err... Scrubs, dude, thats not how the cool ones do it. Just a glance tells them whats in there. He then gave up on the photograph and moved on to the real thing. Poked around the swelling for a while. I really should have accidentally kicked him while i could.
5. I got to see, live and exclusive, the cast being put on my foot! The PoP strips, the cotton, the bandage, the tub of water, all of it! The two other times i was casted, i woke up with the cast. This time i saw the miracle. Blessed are my eyes.
(Reminds me of the first time i had stitches. I was so mad it was my upper lip that was getting stitched. I wanted too see! The second time around it was my finger, i am ashamed to admit it was too chicken to see).
I did embarrass myself by asking him whether my jeans would come off once he put on the cast. I was worried, the only alternative i could see was to live in them for 15 days. It didnt occur to me they could be cut, until one kind man asked me if they were my favourite. Then i wanted to cry.
6. I got crutches!!! From the hospital, on rent, because that foot has a ligament torn and is not to be disturbed until further notice. So much advance thinking and execution is really not me. I am that person who would reach office, keep one foot out and then wonder how to climb up two floors without using the other foot. I dont know what got into me. Whatever it is, i hope it stays.
7. Got delivered home in a car by another kind soul. Even though i'd told them about the cast and the crutches, it was pretty dramatic. The 10 meters i had to walk from the car to the door, i did it with such ease and grace and speed, i could have been walking on four legs all my life.People said so.
8. And now for the best part. The cast has writing all over it! The few hours i spent in office before i could be transported home, i spent guilting people into writing messages on it. Because comments are so precious, i have to reply to them!
Lalit/Mohsin
<insert-name-of-process-that-does-all-the-work> was killed" - Genius. Pure genius. If only it was mirror imaged.
Zarin
Yaay! Blogpost material - Nothing but.
Charuta
Gym mein mat aana - Sob. Naheeeeee! Please? I promise to run on just one leg!
VijayG
!Work from home - too late. People missed the "not" and decided i was desperate enough to write it down.
Pushkar
Get well soon :) - like Zarin said, someone had to say it! Also its the only one my grandfather "got" and it made him happy. So thanks!
Charuta
You are NOT Claire :O - Again, genius. Yes, i know that now.
Nishant
Nerve Panic - Heh. Thats one problem we wont be asking you to reproduce!
Thats it folks. See you in two weeks with hollow armpits, etched out biceps and one very fit leg.
1. I didnt stumble. Or fall. Or miss a step. And yet within the span of a second there grew a lump of the kind they show in the mug-shots of goiter patients near my ankle.
Happened while i was skipping down the stairs, headed for our Friday bash. Friends gathered around. No one was sure how big ankles really are, so i was made to remove my other shoe so we could compare. Result was non-zero. Went back to my seat and waited for the burger that my Friday bash was reduced to.
2. Was driven to a big hospital in a big car by two big and very kind people.
My uncle tells me i missed Lata Mangeshkar being hospitalized there for a knee replacement surgery by a day. Damn.
3. Where i was wheeled around in a wheel chair! Something about a guy pushing you from behind, i dont know, it gives you a feeling of meeting the world head-on. Bring it on, i wanted to yell to all the curtains we went through, i'm ready for you! Genius that i am, i mastered operating the thing in the two minutes he left me alone with it. I'm ready to yettu podu on it, that is how comfortable i am.
4. One of the doctor's assistants came to look at the x-ray (in which my flat feet dont look flat. At all). He peered at the x-ray, squinted at it, tilted it at all angles, went a few steps back and started at it from a distance and in general spent a lot of time looking for whatever he was looking for in it. I wanted to tell him, what with me being such an expert on all things medical having watched Grey's Anatomy AND House AND err... Scrubs, dude, thats not how the cool ones do it. Just a glance tells them whats in there. He then gave up on the photograph and moved on to the real thing. Poked around the swelling for a while. I really should have accidentally kicked him while i could.
5. I got to see, live and exclusive, the cast being put on my foot! The PoP strips, the cotton, the bandage, the tub of water, all of it! The two other times i was casted, i woke up with the cast. This time i saw the miracle. Blessed are my eyes.
(Reminds me of the first time i had stitches. I was so mad it was my upper lip that was getting stitched. I wanted too see! The second time around it was my finger, i am ashamed to admit it was too chicken to see).
I did embarrass myself by asking him whether my jeans would come off once he put on the cast. I was worried, the only alternative i could see was to live in them for 15 days. It didnt occur to me they could be cut, until one kind man asked me if they were my favourite. Then i wanted to cry.
6. I got crutches!!! From the hospital, on rent, because that foot has a ligament torn and is not to be disturbed until further notice. So much advance thinking and execution is really not me. I am that person who would reach office, keep one foot out and then wonder how to climb up two floors without using the other foot. I dont know what got into me. Whatever it is, i hope it stays.
7. Got delivered home in a car by another kind soul. Even though i'd told them about the cast and the crutches, it was pretty dramatic. The 10 meters i had to walk from the car to the door, i did it with such ease and grace and speed, i could have been walking on four legs all my life.People said so.
8. And now for the best part. The cast has writing all over it! The few hours i spent in office before i could be transported home, i spent guilting people into writing messages on it. Because comments are so precious, i have to reply to them!
Lalit/Mohsin
<insert-name-of-process-that-does-all-the-work> was killed" - Genius. Pure genius. If only it was mirror imaged.
Zarin
Yaay! Blogpost material - Nothing but.
Charuta
Gym mein mat aana - Sob. Naheeeeee! Please? I promise to run on just one leg!
VijayG
!Work from home - too late. People missed the "not" and decided i was desperate enough to write it down.
Pushkar
Get well soon :) - like Zarin said, someone had to say it! Also its the only one my grandfather "got" and it made him happy. So thanks!
Charuta
You are NOT Claire :O - Again, genius. Yes, i know that now.
Nishant
Nerve Panic - Heh. Thats one problem we wont be asking you to reproduce!
Thats it folks. See you in two weeks with hollow armpits, etched out biceps and one very fit leg.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Words that wont leave me alone
Tujhe kya gham teri rishta
Gagan ki baansuri se hain
Pavan ki guftgu se hain
Sooraj ki roshni se hain
They make me want to fly, these words.
Daraaein daraarein hain maathe pe maula
Marramat mukkadar ki kar do maula
Did you see how beautifully he just called Him a mechanic?
Thoda sa resham, tu humdum
thoda sa kurdura
kabhi daud ja ya lad ja
ya khusboo se bhara
Tujhe badalna na chahoon ratti bhar bhi sanam
Bina sajawat, milawat, na jayada na hi kam
I earlier heard bina sajawat as tera sajawat. I liked it better then. Even your imperfections are perfect.
And, zari wala neela aasman. Sigh.
If i can create something that beautiful once, i'll quietly go.
I did briefly fantasize out loud about becoming a writer a couple of days ago. In it i alternate between writing goosebumps-inducing poetry and lol comedies like TBBT. People around me soon bought me back to reality. Didnt exactly help because i then went on to dream about becoming the President of the Unites States.
Gagan ki baansuri se hain
Pavan ki guftgu se hain
Sooraj ki roshni se hain
They make me want to fly, these words.
Daraaein daraarein hain maathe pe maula
Marramat mukkadar ki kar do maula
Did you see how beautifully he just called Him a mechanic?
Thoda sa resham, tu humdum
thoda sa kurdura
kabhi daud ja ya lad ja
ya khusboo se bhara
Tujhe badalna na chahoon ratti bhar bhi sanam
Bina sajawat, milawat, na jayada na hi kam
I earlier heard bina sajawat as tera sajawat. I liked it better then. Even your imperfections are perfect.
And, zari wala neela aasman. Sigh.
If i can create something that beautiful once, i'll quietly go.
I did briefly fantasize out loud about becoming a writer a couple of days ago. In it i alternate between writing goosebumps-inducing poetry and lol comedies like TBBT. People around me soon bought me back to reality. Didnt exactly help because i then went on to dream about becoming the President of the Unites States.
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