(From long long ago. This post has been in and out of my head since then, and is finally being put to paper now, when the urge to do something has overwhelmed me. I am tried of consuming - books, TV, food. For a change, i want to produce. This might be also because i just finished the last book i have.)
Have you noticed that the Internet is different things to different people? Everyone uses it to fill up a different need in their life. Me, i mostly use it to feel connected, finding something that resonates with me makes me feel less alone. It could be some unknown blog or a famous joke - anyone sharing my interests or my problems or my sense of humour. It doesn't have to be a two way connection (it usually isn't), just knowing that such people exist is enough to make me love the Internet. The dude and my mom, ironically, use the Internet for very similar reasons - to feel more in control of the world around them, to reduce the unknown. The knowledge gives them security. A few months ago i suddenly developed some kind of a rash around my mouth and the first thing both of them did is look up the Internet to see what it was all about. The Internet arms them to face the world better. My dad also uses the Internet to forage for knowledge - not for security but because that is what he does. He used to use newspapers for that, but the Internet is just so much bigger and better and faster! Bhai uses the Internet to inspire and justify his craziness. He wants to stay off the beaten track but it is not always easy. The Internet is full of people who have done that and done that well, no wonder he is addicted to it.
You can actually think of the Internet as a magic box - you put your hand in and pull out what you need. I am glad it and I are around at the same time.
Have you noticed how much more you have in common with your siblings than with the person you choose you spend your life with? Especially in the way in which you see the world and react to it. I guess it is natural, after all you and your siblings have been "forged" in the same factory. Childhood influences are the strongest and there is also the matter of common genes. While Bhai and I are very different people, there are a lot of things that get the exact same reaction from us. Same with the dude and his siblings. Sometimes i wonder, what happens when we have kids? With the two of us having such divergent reactions to events, how will we provide the little one with a coherent setting? I suppose it was easier in the old days, the man of the house set the tone. Then i tell myself i am over-thinking this, the little one will pick and choose and reject and adapt and end up with his/her one unique way of coping with the world.
And finally. If i pretend to be something i am not, only because i know you like it, and pretend in such way that you cannot tell i am pretending, am i not being nicer than my natural self? And if someday you find out that i was pretending, shouldn't you be happy and flattered that i cared enough to go through all that pretense? Of course, what i really wish is to be brave enough to be me and be accepted, but since i am not, niceness is the only weapon i have. My world would be a very different place if i didn't have to be nice.
Have you noticed that the Internet is different things to different people? Everyone uses it to fill up a different need in their life. Me, i mostly use it to feel connected, finding something that resonates with me makes me feel less alone. It could be some unknown blog or a famous joke - anyone sharing my interests or my problems or my sense of humour. It doesn't have to be a two way connection (it usually isn't), just knowing that such people exist is enough to make me love the Internet. The dude and my mom, ironically, use the Internet for very similar reasons - to feel more in control of the world around them, to reduce the unknown. The knowledge gives them security. A few months ago i suddenly developed some kind of a rash around my mouth and the first thing both of them did is look up the Internet to see what it was all about. The Internet arms them to face the world better. My dad also uses the Internet to forage for knowledge - not for security but because that is what he does. He used to use newspapers for that, but the Internet is just so much bigger and better and faster! Bhai uses the Internet to inspire and justify his craziness. He wants to stay off the beaten track but it is not always easy. The Internet is full of people who have done that and done that well, no wonder he is addicted to it.
You can actually think of the Internet as a magic box - you put your hand in and pull out what you need. I am glad it and I are around at the same time.
Have you noticed how much more you have in common with your siblings than with the person you choose you spend your life with? Especially in the way in which you see the world and react to it. I guess it is natural, after all you and your siblings have been "forged" in the same factory. Childhood influences are the strongest and there is also the matter of common genes. While Bhai and I are very different people, there are a lot of things that get the exact same reaction from us. Same with the dude and his siblings. Sometimes i wonder, what happens when we have kids? With the two of us having such divergent reactions to events, how will we provide the little one with a coherent setting? I suppose it was easier in the old days, the man of the house set the tone. Then i tell myself i am over-thinking this, the little one will pick and choose and reject and adapt and end up with his/her one unique way of coping with the world.
And finally. If i pretend to be something i am not, only because i know you like it, and pretend in such way that you cannot tell i am pretending, am i not being nicer than my natural self? And if someday you find out that i was pretending, shouldn't you be happy and flattered that i cared enough to go through all that pretense? Of course, what i really wish is to be brave enough to be me and be accepted, but since i am not, niceness is the only weapon i have. My world would be a very different place if i didn't have to be nice.
