And now for some unseasonal corniness

''Can you really have friends in office", my cousin asked me as he was leaving. He will be out of college in 6 months. While i was thinking, awww, another kid all growed up, he added, "I mean, they can only be colleagues right?"

I had a sitcom style flashback in which i went over all the "moments" with people from both my first jobs. Well okay, it was only a couple of moments then, but now that i have all the time in the world to write and you, apparently, have nothing better to do, i shall elaborate.

Or not. There is corny and then there is corny. Enough to say that work people, and this is going to be a really long sentence, in spite of my best attempts at ignoring them with silence, jokes and frosty nosed stares, barge or politely knock their way into my life and demand to know what the hell am i doing with it, thus providing much needed moments of introspection and shame, which i hope will someday add up to me getting off my backside and doing something. They bring good ideas beyond work to life, i cannot tell you how satisfying and empowering that is. They read my books and on behalf of my books i am very grateful. What a waste it would be if all of a book's life was about being read by me. Just me. Imagine the size of that existential crisis! If i cannot give them quality, i can at least do quantity!

Its been over 5 years since i worked in the same workplace with the folks at my first first job and so i can safely say its not a same-place-same-time kind of relation. So i told him, "YES, you can have friends in office. I dont know about your second/third job, i suppose it will get difficult as you move higher, but at your first job, you will find friends."

Obligatory whiney year end post

Heroes season 1 comic
Superman For Tomorrow - Vol 1 and 2
My Laptop
A hard disk full of entertainment
The Fall of Hyperion

It takes all that to make me feel safe enough to go spend a day with my granny. Didnt need to go beyond the first two, but thats not the point. Common sense says there has to be a life beyond books and movies. After all, so many people around survive, if not flourish, without either. Whoever is hiding that world from me (of course i have to find someone to blame!) is doing a damn good job of it too. Showing me all the unattractive or impractical alternatives - malls, pubs, friends, work, family, travel - any of which can fill, but none of which fulfill.

Day 3 of my "take it or leave it" vacation. Existential crisis looms large. Some big gesture is in order to see me through the other side of this one.

Breaking news

I might have been on TV!

Okay, okay, i'll rewind.

After staring in a film (which finally released a few weeks ago, but not me nor any of the 5 folks who were with me in it managed to get it together to go see it. Are we in it? I guess we'd rather not know), it looks i'm now broadening my horizons with television. The economic Times news channel did a short piece on my office that was telecast at 1 today, but we dont get that channel at home. Is that my curse? Not being able to see my "work"? And how did i get to probably star in it? You get to decide!

A. I am an indispensable part of my office. I am its spirit. I am it.
B. When i work, i embody the image of a software engineer with the source code to change the world.
C. They were shooting at lunchtime and i was back early from lunch.

So, for reasons A,B or C, the camera was pointed at me.

Oh damn, he's on to me. Act natural, remember, act natural and smile. Wait, smile while looking at the screen? Thats not natural. Okay, no smile. What am i looking at? Did i write this code? Look silly to me. Dont just stare blankly, use your fingers! Let them fly over the keyboard, let the screen fill up with the fruits of your labour. Aaha, compile the code! Brilliant. Yes, now raise your eyebrow at that non-existent compile error. Very good. Now go tail -f some logs. Frown at the messages filling up your screen. I dont care if they are saying all is well. Frown at them as some minor character in a movie would frown at some innocent looking aberration that will ultimately herald the end of the world. Dont smile, dammit. Dont twitch either. Aah, finally he is off my face! And on to my fingers now? Really?? Our office ought to have better to offer than my fingers. See all these wires on my desk? And under my desk. Why dont you take a shot of me in the middle of all this mess? Oh your viewers will not get the irony of a company into wireless being filled with wires? Okay my fingers have run out of polite things to do. Can we move on now? Thank you!

There is a repeat telecast sometime tomorrow, but i'm not likely to catch that either. So i guess we'll never know. Moving on to the bigger picture though, the universe seems to have compressed my burst upon the film scene - rise to be the reigning queen - grow old but refuse to go out - move on to television career graph to the span of a year. Looks like the next step of moving on to reality shows will come pretty soon! Inspired by this tweet, i think i'll sign up for KKK! The supreme commander of the armed forces versus the unknown underdog. Aah, what a story that will be! With a nail-biter finish where the underdog wins because of her natural tree-climbing skills. And then refuses to come down and lives happily on it ever after.

Rambling. About work for once

That bug, it is a silly mistake but it cuts deeper than it should. I spend hours wondering how I could be dumb enough to have missed something so obvious. For that day, i'd like nothing more than to go into the past and not make it. Or baring that, go back into the past and hit the me there on the head.

Or the day I roam around in wide eyed amazement, having watched the master at his very best. No traces of the wistful sigh that comes from knowing you are not made for those heights but wanting to get there anyway.

Or the day spent chasing a tricky little issue, preferably someone elses. The thrill of the chase, the fun in pitting our collective brains against the code, the frustration at being almost but not quite there and the pleasure in finally nailing it.

Such days make me wonder - do i after all love what i do? Not the kind of love that announces itself with a bang. But the kind that creeps up on you and envelopes you without your realizing it.

Somehow, I dont think so. For one, such days are too infrequent. And there is very little that is free flowing, its more hard work/discipline and less inspiration/creativity. For another, the idea of spending the rest of my life in this profession still scares the hell out of me. To be fair though, the idea of anything for the rest of my life is scary. (Its a little bit like looking through Adams Total Perspective Vortex. Only, instead of you being dwarfed by the rest of the Universe, you are dwarfed by the rest of your life and the idea of managing it.). One day at a time, i can live with. But then, that is not saying very much. As life has shown with exceptional clarity, there is very little i cant live with, one day at a time.

Talking about the weather

Since i havent classified anything in a while. I've often tried to slot the people in my life into two groups which i shall name fair weather friends and, rather imaginatively, foul weather friends. Not in any way related to the usual sense if any, in which these terms are used.

Fair weather friends are those with whom you like to "hang" in fair weather. When the going is good, they make it better. You enjoy the same things, you laugh at each other's jokes. They are the ones you miss during the good times.

And then there are foul weather friends. People you want when the going gets tough. Who encourage you, advise you, motivate you or just listen. The world feels a lot less worse when they are by your side.

And then of course are the people who defy classification. The people who carry your weather with them. They can make the sun come out on a rainy day. Or cause thunder showers in summer. The ones who evoke such strong reactions from you, you wish you knew why.

My goodbye present

Thats it. My last "girlfriend" is getting ready to leave the country. To whatever/whoever is responsible for this exodus, i'm telling you, i wont let it be. Do you hear me? My people in England, France and god knows what all places in you yes yay, beware. Someday i'll come to each one of these countries and get you all back to mine.
Where i shall as usual continue to not keep in touch, but thats neither here nor there. I want my people in my country!