Of grannies past

I was in Pune a couple of weeks ago to say goodbye to my last granny. My mom’s mom. Who had lived next door to me for the past 25 years, who was the most alive person I knew, who was no more. The last time I was in Pune in March, I was there to say goodbye to my other granny – my dad’s mom. Who was granny cool, even though you wouldn’t know it to look at her. Why in 2012 life woke up and decided I had an overabundance of grandparents, I cannot say, but as of now, I only have one left.
I am sad, but I am not bitter. dGranny lived a happy and full life. With occasional visits to the hospital, of course, but she didn’t cry wolf too many times. A few months ago her entire brood – 4 children, 8 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren gathered under one roof. In her own quite way, she went nuts. Wouldn’t stop smiling. That is how I remember her, sitting on the bed in my aunt’s home in Pune, green saree, big smile.

mGranny, who had too many interests in life to ever get bored (reading, music, TV, stitching), had been almost bed ridden for more than two years. Slowly, she gave up one interest after another. 6 months ago she fell down and fractured her leg and was completely confined to her bed. She was so afraid of falling off her bed, she made my mom tie a saree to the window and would lie on the bed all day, holding on to the other end. From carrying around 2 phones by different providers to make sure she could reach people whenever she felt like it, to not even be able to talk on the rare occasion I called, life slowly ebbed out of her.

In both cases the daughters were the primary caregivers, and so i felt, more than ever, the stupidity of the daughters getting sidelined in the A.D rituals, if I may call it that. I hope to live to see the day when common sense will be valued more than rules.

The armchair feminist

(because being anything more is very likely to get me kicked out of my own life. Which is, you know, tedha hai par mera hai.)

Every time i am involved in buying clothes for this little one, i am struck by the disparity in boy/girl clothing. For a hundred pretty things you can get for a girl, you will find one or two you have to settle for, for a boy. Some time ago i was predicting that within a few years, the cuteness of baby clothes will overwhelm people so much that gender lines will get blurred. Everyone will wear pink!

But then i wondered what if it had been the other way round? What if little boy clothes had been the cute ones? I can bet you anything, we would already be dressing little girls in them, crying about equality and whatnot. And do you know why? Because somehow, it is okay for a girl to look/dress like a boy, but not for a boy to dress like a girl. It is cool for a little girl to like trucks and guns, but embarrassing for a little boy to play with dolls.

Sometimes, just for this, i wish i could have twins - a boy and a girl. So that i can learn and show the difference between being equal and being same.

EU Diaries - Paris

Saturday. Morning flight from Rome to Paris. We packed up and said goodbye to the room and the kitchen and Rome. Just in time, since the kitchen had run out of clean utensils! Train to the station and wee bit of drama later, a bus to the Airport far far away. We landed in a Paris with 70% chance of rain. I had booked one of those places where people rent out a room in their home. We got there after buses and trains and walking, only to discover the following:

- i hadnt informed the host about our time of arrival
- i didnt have his phone number
- we didnt have internet
- i didnt have the phone number of my friends in Paris who had Internet

So basically we were stuck outside his building with nowhere to go. I should have either died out of shame or been killed in anger, but neither happened. The dude (who had switched into the costume of Mr Cool) asked every person who entered the building if they knew the host. We lucked out, one person not only knew the fellow but had his phone number and immediately called him for us. After some conversation in French, in which i am sure my good name was cursed quite a bit, we came to know that the keys to the house were in the mailbox and we were to help ourselves to it. The fellow would only return at 10 in the night. So we did, while wondering how people can give their home to people they have not even met over the Internet. We got in and found a long letter from the host that described all the various ways in which he had tried to contact us. And, the wi-fi password. I went online and discovered that the host had indeed tried all things to contact us. More shame, but not enough to kill.

It had started to drizzle and we were tired and not really in the mood to do much. But since we had only one day in Paris, we wanted to make it count. After many rounds of come-on-get-ready-no-why-are-we-going, we decided to call up my friends (P and S) and let them know we had finally arrived. They convinced us to get off our butts and go see the Eiffel Tower. Which i had always pooh-poohed at, but we went anyway. It lights up every hour in the night and P assured us it was a sight worth seeing. S also insisted we take the Seine river cruise afterwords.

We took the train and got to Eiffel tower. What amazes me is the ease of travel in all these countries. All you need to find your way is a map! For a direction impaired person like me, it is so... empowering! We reached there a few minutes before 10 and got to see it light up. It was.certainly worth it.Then we decided to go up and hang around. We were there till 12, so in all, it lighted up 3 times for us :) Since it was so late we ditched the cruise and got back home. Where the host was presumably sleeping but we didnt see him.

Morning was when we met him and he was very sweet about my whole stupidity. He offered to get us breakfast, but we wanted to "eat in Paris", so we asked him for directions to a good cafe and the Louvre and got out. The cafe was awesome, i wish i wish i wish i had had a few more croissants! Then to Louvre, where the entrance is free every first Sunday of the month. And this was the first Sunday of the month. Free stuff! That meant a mammoth queue, which almost scared us off. But we had nowhere else to go so we went and stood in the line. Took us 2 hours to get in. The louvre? Is great! If only they could have posted descriptions to what we were seeing in English, we would have been there much longer.

We got out in a couple of hours and got back home and met up with my friends. P i had met on her brief bangalore visit a few months ago, but i hadnt seen S since their wedding. We sat in the same cafe and recounted our adventures and talked some about the good old days when the three of us used to work together.

Time to leave. We went back to our room, where the next guest had already settled in. Picked up all of our luggage and left. Took a long train to the airport. The dude had by this time got back to his usual self and was fretting about reaching on time dont ask me why. We got there with plenty of time for duty free shopping as well.

We got onto our flight which would take us to Delhi. It had so many moves i wanted to see! Why cant i ever book a day time flight where i can watch movies from the time they let me to the time they let me? I cant wait to go on a really long flight to a really far away place! Only, after this one, i think we will give foreign travel a break.

EU Diaries – TGIF!

Friday morning. The day of the exam. The two of us are engaged in last minute revision. We should ask her this, we should carry that. 8.30 comes and I get to make the phone call. I HATE making phone calls, but I’m trying very hard to be an adult so I pack off my hate and pick up the phone.

Me: We are blah blah, do you have any news for us?

She: Yes, I have news for you. [Big pause, in which I die a million deaths}. If you come by 10.00 I can give you by 12, if you come later also no problem, I can give you by 3 in the afternoon.
Me: [Showing a thumbs up to the dude, who seems supremely unconcerned] So, we are getting our Visas today?
She:  Yes
Me: Thank you! [And then some incoherence].

I dance, the dude fights with the Internet for a ticket to Paris. I drag him away from his fight and off we go to the embassy. By this time we have figured out all the buses and all the stops. We make big plans about what to do the rest of the day. The Vatican, at walking distance from our hotel,  is at the top of the list. We run into the Swiss Embassy at 10.10. She shakes her head and says – “you are too late, come back for your Visas at 3”. Say what? We cant even hang around at the embassy because they shut for the public at 12 and getting inside after that is complicated. We give up and catch a bus and a train back to the hotel. Where I make lunch while the dude continues his flight with the Internet.

 

We leave early for the embassy. Who knows, at 3.01 she might say – you are too late come back on Monday. That would be good for her health. We reach there at 2.40 and are very proud. I go ring the bell and she says through the phone– “but I told you to come at 3, please wait outside”. Gaaaaaaaaaaah. We wait under a tree right outside. There is a woman lying on the bench opposite to ours, book in hand, soaking up the sun. It feels weird to catch a glimpse of a world not ruled by Visa issues. We stalk the dude’s watch and right at 3 go ring the bell again. We are reluctantly buzzed in.

 

Visas! We thank her very much. I have been wanting to give her chocolates since yesterday, but all that nitpicking about time has dampened my gratefulness a bit. All said and done, she went out of her way to help us out, so hear this Swiss Lady in the Swiss Embassy in Rome, you are awesome!

 

We get to the Vatican and look around. Its simply… fantastic. I don’t “get” paintings, and I certainly don’t know the story behind the scenes they depict, but I can still spend hours there and not be bored. We climb to the very top of the tower and are greeted by a great view of the city. We walk back to our hotel, to dinner and pack up.

 

Its time to say goodbye.