In case i'd forgotten, he decided to teach me again.
I now re-know why a release is called a release :)

Just the prospect of a trip has made me go crazy ..... dont know what will happen if and when it actually materializes. Going by experience though, i wont be so crazy about it then .... in my case, the prolog almost always causes more exitement/happiness/fear as the case may be, than the event itself.

Should be working, but am totally distracted .....

As far as direction sense goes, you really cant get much worse than me. Having lived in the same city for the past 20 odd years (no, I refuse to get more specific than that ;) ) one would expect me to somewhat know my way around the city. I was reminded how bad i was a few days ago, when i was returning home a little late in the night with a friend. He's been in the city for two years, and claims to have an equally bad sense of direction. And, he knew the way back as well as I did. Or rather, i knew as little as he did. Fortunately, he does not fall into the category of men for whom asking for directions is sacrilege. So, we reached home without too much of Pune-darshan.

The availability of people who can direct you is what spoils it all. I keep thinking - Why bother to remember the way, when you can always ask someone if you get lost ?
A little bit of ego is a good thing sometimes.

Most non-stray dogs you come across are surprisingly well-behaved. Even if they are not tied to a leash, they follow the master (or whoever is walking them), not distracted by anything - be it a dustbin, a jogger, a cat or whatever. Its almost like they are on a wireless leash! It is those few members of the canine species who do not follow the wireless protocol who bring their species a bad name.

These wireless dogs remind one so much of people everywhere - free in body but bound in spirit.

"Man invented work to keep himself from thinking " - said someone, and i couldn't agree more. When life is filled with work, or rather life is work (like mine has been for the past couple of weeks), not only do you not have the time to think, you also stop noticing the small things that set you off on some trail of thought. Which is why, when i am swamped with work, one of the first things that take a hit is my blog - I dont have the time and I dont have the ideas. Not that i'm overflowing with creativity the rest of the time, but least i manage to find something to write
about once in a couple of days.
Beware, all ye readers!! Now that I am relatively free, i'm going to spam my blog with all that has happened all these months.

Some events in life make you question your reasons, your motives. "Why am I here" ? "Why am I doing this" ? Writing get and set methods to provide access for 130 private members of a class at past 10 in the night pretty much did it for me! With each function, I told myself - "Be a lazy programmer. Write a script to do this". But, at past 10 in the night, though you can rely on your copy-pasting abilities, you really wouldn't care to bet on your script writing ones.

There was once this man who lived in a village. Though he had everything he was not happy. His biggest complaint was that his house was too small. One day, he happened to meet the sadhu who sat the the edge of the forest near the village, and poured out all his problems. The sadhu listened patiently and then told him to get his cows to live inside the house for a week. The man had a lot of faith in the sadhu and did as was told. A week later, the man went back to the sadhu and said - "The whole house is stinking. There's no place to cook, no place to sleep, its really terrible ". The sadhu told him to keep his pigs inside the house for a week. The man could hardly believe his ears, but he still had faith. So, again, he did as he was told. A week later, the man came back to the sadhu, nearly in tears. He said - " Now, even the cows are stinking ! No one in the village wants to have anything to do with our family. What should i do ?" The sadhu asked him to take the animals back to their sheds and clean up the house. Relieved, the man rushed home and did as was told. A month later, the man happened to meet the sadhu and the sadhu asked - "So, how's your house?" The man replied - "You must come to my house. I'm sure you have never seen a more spacious house. It's got place for everything I need need and more !!"

Life after GATE is indeed wonderful !!

Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew !

For those who didn't understand, that was me exhaling.
I'm free !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss a target and think i didnt work hard enough
I achieve a target and think maybe it wasn't high enough
Self- satisfaction is so difficilt to come by.

If a classic is "a book that never finishes saying what it has to say", the book on compliers by Aho, Ullman and Sethi is definitely a classic.

Or maybe, i have the memory of a goldfish :((

Sometimes i wonder .....
how it would be
to be at the receiving end of me.

Haven't written anything in ages, but a recent traumatic experience has shaken me enough to take up the pen again. I had to to the bank. Yes, that's it. That's the traumatic experience. And no, the source of the trauma was not the fact that my account had dried up like the wells of my home state do in summer. Any visit to any bank for any reason puts me in a state of extreme nervous tension- comparable to what i feel when I'm appearing for an interview or an oral. I behave like a moron once I'm in one of those places. And invariably get shouted at. The shouting acts as fodder for my next visit's tension. This particular visit was made with the intention of getting a demand draft

I enter the Bank, and it is filled with busy people. In a bank, busy is synonymous with rude. Avoiding them, i look around for a friendly face. The only not-so-busy person i spot is a rifle carrying guard. Summoning all my courage, i go and ask him where should i go if i want to get a demand draft. In a kinder voice than i'd expected, he guides me to the counter and also tells me to ask how much commission i'd have to pay for the draft. A shouting later, i have the form and commission amount. I fill up as much of the form i can understand (yes, it is in english) and am back to the counter man. I dont know where in the form to put the commission amount. Before i can open my mouth to ask him, he grabs the form from my hand. One look at it, and he shouts - "Madam, u've not written anything here, not even the amount". And i manage to splutter - "I wanted to ask what to write". He looks at me as though i'm speaking in some African language. "What to write? What to write ?" - he's stuck that that sentence, not wanting to believe that someone can ask that. I clarify - "Yes, where to put the commission amount". And while he's barking an answer at me, another bark joins in. Several barks later, I'm the proud owner of two forms - one for the draft and the other for the commission. After going through both the forms, i go back to the counter man to submit the forms, but by now, there a line of people waiting to get shouted at. I'm almost at the head of the queue when i realize that nowhere have i mentioned the name of the person to whom the draft is to be made. Sprint out of the queue before the counter man can bark again. After a lot of deep and profound thinking, i realize that probably the Payee column should be the place to put that name. I scratch out Vinaya from there, and put the right name. I'm back at the end of the line, but the rifle man, who'd seen me sprint tells me to go directly to the head of the line. Blessing him, and asking Him to join me in this noble cause, I'm back to the counter man. This time surprisingly, he has nothing to bark about. He writes something on both the forms and hands them over to me. Feeling like i have the key to a priceless treasure in my hand, i look around for the rifle man to ask for directions. By this time, he's convinced that i am an African aadivasi on her maiden visit to the civilized world. He points me to where the cashier and the teller sit and says, go give the forms to him. I promptly head for the cahier's counter. A finger tells me I'm at the wrong place. I submit the forms and the amount at the teller's counter and that guy tells me - collect the draft from there after 10 minutes, pointing vaguely in the direction where all the employs of the bank except him are sitting. To terrified to ask where exactly there is, i nod and come out. 10 minutes later (which i spend trying to get my heart to go slow), I'm back to the rifle man. He tells me "you-see that-RED-shirted-man-there, go-ask-him -if your-draft-has-arrived", pronouncing each word very slowly, not sure whether the African aadivasi even understands the language he's speaking. Gratefully nodding my head, i go and ask the red man. He says he hasn't got the draft yet. I sit down to an infinite wait. Some time later, that man says, "Go collect it form that man there', telling me even how to get there. Grateful, i walk up to that man. He looks up and says "Yes mam, how can i help you? ". Not expecting such courtesy, i manage to splutter - "Draft". He says, "Oh yes. Please sign here". I obey. I'm sure any self respecting handwriting analyst would place the age of the hand that made that sign at not less than 75. Collecting that damned draft, i walk out of the dreaded place. Coming out, i look around to see if i can see the rifle man to thank him, but i see him busy helping a fellow tribesman. Shooting him a grateful look, i get out of the place with something looking suspiciously similar to a cheque. Only, instead of my name it contains the Bank's name below the dotted line. And they say, what's in a name !!!

I am going to name my child Union Bank so that he/she never has to suffer the trauma i've had to.

Though I'm not the praying kinds myself, when people tell me "Pray for me" or "keep me in your prayers", I take it seriously. Plan out a special session with Him to tell Him to keep them in His "TBD" list. Generally, there is something specific I am supposed to ask, like please let xyz get through the interview. But when I actually get down to asking, I keep thinking "Am I right in asking Him to do this? Does xyz really deserve this? Would it not be unfair to others ? ...." As if He is waiting there to do just what I ask. Finally, I end up saying something like "God, please give xyz what he deserves", sounding more like I'm cursing than praying !!!

God, or lets say the creator of this world, in his infinite wisdom, decided to create as many classes of people as there are objects. In non cs language, that means he decided to make each person unique. So that life becomes interesting, challenging, colourful. And while I don't doubt his infinite wisdom (God forbid !!!), I see one not so desirable consequence of this scheme of things. All around, people who are not at all compatible, are forced to live together. While there is nothing "bad" about them individually, some kinds just cant get along with other kinds. Like, though there is nothing inherently wrong with either a square peg or a round hole, it makes no sense trying to force one into another.

A big fish came and ate up all the small fish. And so, i didn't have small things to put up on my blog for sooo long.

I'm back !!!
Had a great time at home. Diwali was the usual "bored-of-crackers-but-never-of-sweets" stuff.
Watched Hungama like a tele-serial, in 15 to 20 minute episodes, complete with commercial breaks.

Learnt that if hopes are dupes, fears will be liars.

Missed my office diwali gift :(( Will get it on the first of Nov now. Hope i am disciplined enough till then to fit into it. Have been a bit optimistic and ordered Medium size.

Watched Office Space, a really cool movie about ..... guess .... frustrated software professionals :))

Back to routine, but not particularly sad about it.

Blogging from home for the first time. Not a bad day overall. Managed to put in a decent amout of studies without getting that i-dont-want-to-ever-look-at-a-book-again feeling. This was adied by a short visit to the office, just cant stay off that place.
For the first time in sooo many years of my life, i was home in the pre-diwali period.This is mainly because i went to a school which on a generous year, gave 3 days off for diwali and the tamil deepawali invaliably ended before those 3 days.Since Mummy too went to the same school(as a teacher obviously), she had to take leave to make sweets.Everyday, bhai and i would rush home to find out what sweet she'd made that day. And some day, she'd say, Today I cleaned the kitchen. And we'd think, what a waste!! No matter how clean the kitchen looked, it couldn't justify all that precioius time which could have been spent making sweets, sweets and more sweets. Today, for the first time,I saw all that went to the cleaning. Whew!! Just seeing was overwhelming !!



I hope there someone in this big wide world has carried out a study that concludes that studying increases the appetite. I really don’t see any other way to explain the indecent quantity of food that has been vanishing down my food pipe lately. People who have seen me eat may not be really surprised, but believe me, i've surprised myself !!! If this continues, it will not be long before i'm well on my way to becoming the female incarnation of Dudley Dursley :((



Tell-tale signs that i've been studying:
A set of books in every room of the house (including the kitchen at times)
Pages of doubts that i have a record of never having asked anyone (doesn't mean i find answers to them, i just dont ask)
Manifold increase in the amount of talking done with Bhai, with the central topic of discussion being how we will avenge all this studying once exams get over.
Old issues of Reader's Digest and Archies end their hibernation



Needed: Another study that concludes that study of compliers and Operating Systems induces severe ache in the lower back and what i think is called the ball-and-socket-joint.

On leave for a week. The first time in one year and a few months that I am taking leave. People keep telling me i should be given an award.
Though i keep cribbing about work, I'm not really looking forward to my leave. At least, work keeps you occupied. You have the morning tea break, the lunch break, walk, "sitting-on-the-sofa" break, coffee time, snacks, baddie, blogs ... (of course, i work !!)

I'm going to miss it all :((

To make my ride from home to office more interesting and challenging (you can imagine how interesting my life must be), i decided not to use the brakes of my 2 wheeler. Not "not at all", but not "until it is a question of someone's life and death". It turned out to be easier than i thought. Except for signals, and the final turn to my place (the width of the 'road' there must be almost 2 meters) i'm able to get to office in one piece everyday. You really can control the vehicle using the accelerator only, and i'm secretly hoping this would increase the mileage.

But now, i've observer a strange behaviour. I sort of remember reading something in Bio about some organs that stop doing what they are supposed to do if not used for generations. Think they have a name, also think it starts with v. Well, dunno if my two wheeler has become a follower of Darwin's theories, but thats sort of what's happened to my breaks. They've evolved into v-organs. They don't work anymore.

I am now forced to do what i voluntarily set out to do. Compulsory things are not fun.

Two conclusions about life that i reached over the weekend:

1. Just when you are thinking that things can't possible get worse in a certain department, life has it's ways of telling you "Think again !"

2. Nothing lasts forever. Your likes, dislikes, desires, goals ...
This is really scary. Imagine that you say to yourself, this is where i want to be 10 years from now. And you work really really hard to get there. Say 5 years down the line, or worse 9 and a half years down the line, you realize you don't want to be there after all. It is some consolation if the journey was worth it, but if not, the whole thing is an utter waste.

Just stating the conclusions here, and not the observations that lead to them. I have concluded that conclusions are more glamorous than the observations that lead to them.