I think i have become one of the most infrequent visitors of my own blog :( Such a looong time since I've written anything. And no particular reason. Life's just been as always. Boring in patches and interesting in other patches.
My current work is so interesting and challenging, that if i don't supplement it with songs, i can sit at home (eating and sleeping being much easier at home :)). Pooja pointed me out to a great collection of Tamil songs. Been listening to them ever since. And each day, some song catches my attention. No, not catches, grabs, usurps, completely takes control. I keep humming it all day long. I listen to it many "one last time"s before going home. It is a funny sight - me with headphones on, staring at my wallpaper, shaking what little of my body i can within the confines of my chair, tapping my foot on the CPU and smiling away. It's a great feeling - keep wishing i can carry the song with me.
I do manage to carry some part of it. Not being very conversant with tamil, i don't catch half the lyrics. And not being very conversant with singing, i cant reproduce half the tunes. And so, i am la-la-laaing most of the time. No one at home can make out what i am singing (?!). "If you are going
to be like this all night, u'd better sleep in the hall" - encouraging words by bhai, who else ? I naturally respond by becoming even more loud.

Just imagine doing something that brings so much joy to the world. Wish i were doing something like that. I'd give anything to be able to just play the songs.

there was a little girl
who had a written curl
right in the midddle of her forhead

when she was good
she was very very good
when she was bad
she was hooooooooooorid

Me.
And my baddie playing.

Today was one of the horrid days :(

Of men and motorbikes

What is it with come men and motorbikes? Why do they think that bikes are strictly part of the male domain? I was talking to some friends and saying how i've always wanted to ride a bike, when one of them asks me "Why"? And there is so much of pain in his eyes. As if I am spoiling something beautiful just for the fun of it. Like if a girl rides a bike, it will no longer be manly to do so. Why does it have to be manly? It is just a mode of transport, for God's sake.
Another objection is, it is not feminine to ride a bike. Girls should stick to "Activa", one of them says. That's what suits them.

Anyway, in a few years time, i think they'll all get used to it. I mean, i don't think there is anyone who thinks jeans have become less manly because girls wear them.

Had my appraisal a few days ago, and my blog was actually mentioned in it !!!! My team lead said that he'd read my blogs and that there is a certain flow in my writing. And that i should try and do that in the mails i write to the client.
He right. The mails i used to write just a few months ago - GOD !! Each of them had to be reviewed by him. Wish i had saved both copies of the mails - pre-review and post-review. It would form classic teaching material. My written communication has improved more from his reviews than from classes specially conducted for this purpose.

Of course, i'm not blaming the classes - i know how seriously i attended them ;-)

Ahhhhh ....

Saw Rules yesterday, and MIlind Soman looks unbelievable in it. There is one question that always comes to my mind when i see really beautiful people (so far, only two people fall into this category - Milind Soman and Julia Roberts) - How do they live with themselves ? How do they handle all that beauty ?
People who almost made it to this category - Aishwarya Rai and Brad Pitt.

Science and Art

IMO, there are two classes of 'computer people'. One class which considers computers a science,a and one class which considers it an art. People who consider it an art, see something beyond facts and reasoning. They see something beautiful in the way things work. They are really passionate about things, be it a certain method, a certain language, a certain paradigm ... And they have very little patience with the other class of people, whom they consider, well, to put it politely, fools. These 'fools' are not really fools, but people who lack their knowledge and passion and vision. ( i may be a little biased here, because i am one of those 'fools')

I have had the opportunity to attend a few lectures by the 'arty' types, and each of them have been memorable. Though i don't remember the content (thus proving that i am one of those 'fools'), i remember the feeling well. There is the happiness of having seen something beautiful, mingled with the sadness that i have to be shown that beauty in order to be able to see it.

Argggggh

Variety, they say, is the spice of life. Ever heard of a stomach upset because of too much of spice? Or rather, too much of a particular spice.
There are a variety of people in this world. And there are a variety of music bands to cater to their tastes. And certain variety of people like certain variety of bands. And certain variety of people
can't stand certain variety of bands. And if these two variety of people happen to live in the same house, argggggh

Bhai had built up quite a collection of songs on our new PC. There really was variety. Unfortunately, the hard disk developed bad sectors, and he could save only a few 'precious' songs. The whole weekend, he kept playing them again and again and again. And not one of them of the variety i can stand. Argggggh

My weekend was filled with people screaming
"This is the 21st century"
"It doesn't even matter"
"Somewhere i belong"
"Bhai pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee"

One fine day

You are trying to learn something new, and you keep trying and trying and trying, with no result at all. You don't know if you are capable of doing it. You don't even know if you are headed in the right direction. And then, one fine day, things suddenly click. For no special reason, you start doing things well. The ugly duckling suddenly becomes a swan.

This happened so many times with me. Happened when i was learning TT, when i was learning to ride the scooter, when i was trying to lose weight, and now, when i am trying to play baddie.

You might say its okay, because in the end it doesn't matter. But, i find it scary for two reasons.One is, that there is no motivation to keep trying. How do you know that you are not just an ugly duckling?
Another reason is, what guarantee that the way you got it all one fine day, you wont lose it all?

Logic-less things are really scary.

Never ever sit on the back seat of a 350 cc bike unless you are ready to cling to the driver like your life depends on it. And believe me, your life does depend on it.

Finally !!! Got a baddie racquet yesterday. A big thanks to all those people whose racquets contributed to my progress (?!)

Games....Baaah

As if it was not enough that I was bad at two games, I was recently inspired to try my hand at a third. The main source of inspiration was the prescence of a carrom board, and the fact that there were about 10 people waiting to play baddie and 10 more for TT. My friend and I, ever ready for (mis)adventures of this sort, decided to give carrom a shot. I reasoned that since you do not need strength to play carrom, and that was the 'sole' reason why i was pathetic at baddie, carrom could not be so bad. I was not bad, after all. I was pathetic, miserable, hopeless. My hands were actually shaking when i tried hitting the striker. Put in not even 4 coins in 4 games. And, that too, two of them of the opposite teams :( There was even this coin that was designated my "favourie one", since i had spent one whole game trying to put that in.

Why ????

Why do boys have to be good at all games by default? And why does it take girls eternity to learn? I apologize to those miniscule percentage of girls who are naturally good. But on the whole, i havn't come across many girls of that kind. Even if they do exist, i am sure it is to prove the exception to the rule.

Rode the bike !!!! Not as bad as i thought i would be. Once even managed to kick start the bike while sitting on it. But as of now, the fact that i can ride a bike gives me more pleasure than riding the bike itself.

The road that we took has a paraplegic home on one side. (Dictionary.com says paraplegia means "Complete paralysis of the lower half of the body including both legs, usually caused by damage to the spinal cord"). This one is for the army people. Any time you pass from the road, you can see a few of them hanging around on their wheel chairs. Middle aged men most of them, and quite fit otherwise. When i was in college, my bus used to go by that route. And, notwithstanding the fact that it was 7 in the morning, a group of them would be sitting near the gate, waiting to wave out to us. And, the people in the bus would wave back. A small, few seconds routine, but it touched the lives of all involved. One guy in particular, always caught my attention. An oldish sort of fellow, his face was so full of life and happiness, one could not believe he has nothing much to look forward to in life. It was the simple joy of being alive.

While i was struggling with the bike, cursing everything from my short legs to the bike manufacturers, these men were quietly watching me and smiling. What they would not have given to be in my position - a whole life ahead of me, and everything i need to live it to the fullest. We owe it to them to do something worthwhile. (Unfortunately, all these are just momentary inspirations :( )

And, to what end did they make such a sacrifice? Who has the right to ask it of them? And whose duty is it to see that the rest of their life is not a waste?

Again, i come back to the system.

I now know why a release is called a release.

Va Va Vroommmm
Bhai is finally getting his bike. And, my long cherished dream of riding one will be fulfilled.
I'm going to ride it all over the place. Ride him. Definitely male.

I'll be watching you

I have this allergy to certain food stuffs, and when i eat something that doesn't suit me, it results in a terrible cold. After years of treatment, my resistance has considerably gone up.
Just the day before yesterday, i was marveling at how i hadn't fallen sick in a loooooong time. And, the very next day, i was down with a bona-fide attack. The runny nose, the sore throat, the head ache, the body ache, the sleepless nights . . . the works.
It was almost like He was up there singing

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Spooky.

Or maybe, i'm looking for meaning where there is none.

Sometimes, i feel God is just another name for coincidence.

It's a dog's world

I have a friend who is mortally scared of dogs. She is convinced that every dog that ever there was, was born with one aim in, life - to bite her. And she has lots of proof to prove this. So naturally, when she and i go for a walk, I am the hero. I walk on the doggie side, i even shoo away the beast, if need be.
Now, my friend has gone to Bangalore. And how i miss her. Walking and talking with her, I discovered many things about myself, but NOT walking with with her has also taught me something. That I am no hero :(. I am probably not as afraid of dogs as she is, but I'm not much better.
My morning walk path is "infested" with dogs. All the stray dogs for miles around come out to wish each other good morning. Out of good manners, a few greetings are thrown my way too. And this almost makes me wish i had no legs, cause then i would not have to walk. There is one dog in particular, who simply loves to bark and growl. He (or she) will stand at the same point everyday, and start his barking-growling sequence the moment he spies anything remotely human. This used to send shivers all the way to the bottom of my spine every time i passed that point. But now, i have sort of got used to him. I can see that he comes in peace. This is not to say that i don't get shivers down my spine, but they don't go all the way down.
Who knows, some day, I might be even be singing "Me and you and a dog named Boo".

An anology

From the computer world (how else do I establish that i am a computer engineer). God was the developer of the system.
After he 'completed' development, he outsourced maintenance to us humans. (even God doesn't like maintenance !!!)

On the other hand, maintenance guys, take heart. This is the purpose of our lives. This is what God put us on earth for.

The solution ... ? (See "The problem" below)

It looks like the cause of the problem is that we humans do not follow one of the basic laws of
nature - "survival of the fittest". Because we have emotions, a 'heart', we have changed the law to -
"survival of every human being born". And because we are intelligent, we are able to find the ways
and means to ensure this. But nature was not designed for this kind of load. With fixed resources,
when quantity increases, quality is bound to go down.

The solution then, is to produce only that many human beings as can be sustained by nature. And
because, we have emotions, a 'heart' and because we are intelligent, we should be able to do this.

The problem

Reached at 7.35 for a farewell party that was to start at 7.30, and not surprisingly, was the first one. While I was waiting for the others to turn up, and promising myself an ice cream for every 5 minutes of delay, I saw some street children. There were three of them, around 6-7 years old, one brother - sister pair and a girl. They were fighting, and the girl was threatening to hit the sister. The brother was valiantly trying to protect his sis. All this was happening pretty close to where I was standing, and I stared at the three, in the hope that they would take their fight someplace else. The girl took this to be a sign of interest, and started justifying herself "I went to ask those didi's there and she came and swore at me" - she said, pointing to the lil sis. The sis, looking totally guilty, was hiding behind the brother. The brother, I just noticed, had some problem in one eye. The girl was bigger and healthier than both, and was succeeding in hitting them. I told them - "This is a big place, there is space for everyone. You two go this side and you go that side". With a parting shot at the brother, the girl disappeared.
Some time later, actually, a lot of time later, when we were leaving for the restaurant, I saw the girl again. She was begging from some new group of people and fighting with some new guy. All this seemed like a game to her. Something that children do all day. The ignominy, the hopelessness of her situation had not yet sunk in. To her, this was life, and it was not bad. Wish she never grows up .....

The bill for dinner came to 2500.

What kind of a system is this? And who is responsible? Man, or the one who created man ?

Ever felt that something nice that you happen to come across sort of becomes 'yours' ?

Like, I heard this relatively unknown song by Air supply, called "Making love out of nothing at all". It was simply beauuutiful. Told it to as many people as i could. Any anytime, any of them praise the song, or even hum it, I feel a surge of pride.

And one day, bhai was designing something on AutoCAD. And, he used some font to label the design. He was sooo mighty pleased with the font ( more mighty pleased than he was with the design itself).

Wonder why it happens. Maybe, just the joy of unearthing a thing of beauty.

Can only imagine how it must have felt to make the steam engine, or discover gravity ....