A new hobby

For those of you who have been waiting with baited breath (thanks for asking, K! Sniff, and here I thought nobody cared), here it is. In simple words, it is cutting and pasting paper. It started somewhere in the dark ages when I was preparing for job interviews. I don't remember exactly what got me started, but by the time I has a job in hand, I had a phone full of plans on what to make.

The first one -

 

 

This one started out very differently in my head. Wool was going to be heavily involved. Thankfully this is where it ended up. I cant draw for nuts, so all these images were printed, traced onto paper and then cut using an x acto knife (as you can seem I can talk the talk!) The dude made me put the leaf at the top of the Ganapati.

 

The second one -

 

 

 

 

The one at the top started out from the leftovers of the first one. Then I traced out the Om at the center and, this is what I cannot believe I did - hand drew the final shape of the golden paper!

The one at the bottom was inspired from here. It could have been much better.

 

 

The third one -

 

 

 

This one took the longest. I cannot find the original that "inspired" this. This one was probably the toughest - I had to take a picture I liked and stretch it out in MS paint, adding leaves etc to make it big enough. Then trace it on paper, keeping track of what goes where. The dude picked the bird and traced it out. Getting this up on the wall also turned out to be a challenge.

 

 

The fourth one -

 

This one was inspired from here. S is what my son's name starts from :) (Yes, I have become that mother whose wallpaper has her kid's pictures. Whattodo).

I also tried making something with paint (actual paint) but those projects only reinforced how terrible I am at painting.

In spite of a new country, new baby, new job, life somehow still mostly feels like the same old same old. This has helped giving it little bit of new.

 

 

New year and all that

I didn't really expect to be back here. It's been to long, mainly because I have found other outlets for my writing urges - yes, Facebook. Wider audience, instant feedback, it's difficult to resist. Yet, here I am. For many reasons. One, a lot has happened since I was last here. This place has been a more or less faithful record of my life for so long, I thought I owed it this. Second, some things are not for Facebook. Maybe because it is too personal or too controversial or just doesn't go with my "persona" there. 

 So, we had a baby! Bittu, we call him and he is, believe it or not, a US citizen. It felt very weird initially, especially since he used to look like a South Indian village boy. It's still weird, how can my baby not be Indian? 

I got a job! After months of preparing, interviews, rejections, more interviews. They were not good days, studying with a newborn around. Somedays I wouldn't even manage an hours worth. I would be around the baby all day and never actually spend time with him! Quality time is a real thing, I now know :-/ Anyway. I have a job! And my son is a good little boy all day long, and when I get home I get a welcome like no other. He shouts and shouts and shouts, I don't think even he knows why.

Confession time - having a baby hasn't changed my life. I mean, of course it has changed the contents of my life, which never had so much fussing over someone else's food or so much poo, oh so much poo and putting a person to sleep was not even a thing, leave alone the highlight of my day. But it hasn't changed its meaning, whatever that may be. It hasn't made me more patient, it hasn't increased the size of my heart or filled it with anything new. It hasn't made me want to leave the world a better place because my baby will inherit it, at least not anymore than I wanted to before he was born. Having a baby in my life has been a lot of things - overwhelming, fun, tiring, exciting. There is a lot more laughter in the house, and there isn't a day that goes by when one of us don't want to just eat up the bundle of cuteness. But what it isn't - is magical. As of now, he is just yet another person to love.

Okay. Too much baby talk! Next time I shall be back with news about my new hobby! It is almost entirely unlike me, and no one is more surprised than I am that it gives me so much joy. 

Notes from a train journey

(From long long ago. This post has been in and out of my head since then, and is finally being put to paper now, when the urge to do something has overwhelmed me. I am tried of consuming - books, TV, food. For a change, i want to produce. This might be also because i just finished the last book i have.)

Have you noticed that the Internet is different things to different people? Everyone uses it to fill up a different need in their life. Me, i mostly use it to feel connected, finding something that resonates with me makes me feel less alone. It could be some unknown blog or a famous joke - anyone sharing my interests or my problems or my sense of humour. It doesn't have to be a two way connection (it usually isn't), just knowing that such people exist is enough to make me love the Internet. The dude and my mom, ironically, use the Internet for very similar reasons - to feel more in control of the world around them, to reduce the unknown. The knowledge gives them security. A few months ago i suddenly developed some kind of a rash around my mouth and the first thing both of them did is look up the Internet to see what it was all about. The Internet arms them to face the world better. My dad also uses the Internet to forage for knowledge - not for security but because that is what he does. He used to use newspapers for that, but the Internet is just so much bigger and better and faster! Bhai uses the Internet to inspire and justify his craziness. He wants to stay off the beaten track but it is not always easy. The Internet is full of people who have done that and done that well, no wonder he is addicted to it.
You can actually think of the Internet as a magic box - you put your hand in and pull out what you need. I am glad it and I are around at the same time.


Have you noticed how much more you have in common with your siblings than with the person you choose you spend your life with? Especially in the way in which you see the world and react to it. I guess it is natural,     after all you and your siblings have been "forged" in the same factory. Childhood influences are the strongest and there is also the matter of common genes. While Bhai and I are very different people, there are a lot of things that get the exact same reaction from us. Same with the dude and his siblings. Sometimes i wonder, what happens when we have kids? With the two of us having such divergent reactions to events, how will we provide the little one with a coherent setting? I suppose it was easier in the old days, the man of the house set the tone. Then i tell myself i am over-thinking this, the little one will pick and choose and reject and adapt and end up with his/her one unique way of coping with the world.


And finally. If i pretend to be something i am not, only because i know you like it, and pretend in such way that you cannot tell i am pretending, am i not being nicer than my natural self? And if someday you find out that i was pretending, shouldn't you be happy and flattered that i cared enough to go through all that pretense? Of course, what i really wish is to be brave enough to be me and be accepted, but since i am not, niceness is the only weapon i have. My world would be a very different place if i didn't have to be nice.

One week later

- Still jet lagged, although it comes and goes. Today i was up at 5, my mom i am sure will be very happy to hear. Its strange, i am the only one in the house with nowhere to go, nothing to do, and i am up earliest and being generally useless. On the other hand, the past month was crazy busy, there were days when i wouldnt get to sit still till the day ends. And this was after i'd quit work. Guess this is how it balances out.

- Still camped at cousin's place. The plan was to move over the weekend, but that didnt happen, out of more of a feeling of general laziness than anything else, i suppose. TV and kids provide more entertainment than i have time for. The elder one came running to find me over the weekend, and i happened to be brushing my teeth. At 10 in the morning. I cannot remember the last time i got to do that. "Chitti, do you want to eat this thing for breakfast, its a kind of bread but not exactly bread, but it is like bread and it tastes really great with olive oil and salt and would you like to try it, its not bread, but..." and so on. I said sure, what is it called? "Pav", he said, sure that the name would not mean anything to me. I laughed, and felt sorry for kids in the US who dont know what Pav is.

- I saw the pav and it made me want to eat Misal very badly. Apna hi kitchen samajh ke i started making misal. Which i have made only once before, and that was as much as disaster as it could possibly be. But leaning from my mistakes has never been my thing, and i tried again. It turned out okay, although the misal was spicy and the tarri was some kind of mild south Indian chutney. No one who has even been in Maharashtra will ever call it misal. But neither of our husbands have really been in Maharashtra and my cousin kept mum, and we had "misal pav" for lunch.

- While i am camped out at my cousins's place, both our parents are in Kashi performing the last rites for our grandmother. Cant believe its been a year since she passed away. I know it makes no sense, but granny would have been very happy to see all her kids together.

- I kept whining to the dude that i have nothing useful to do and he made a list of mind numbingly boring things to do. So now i spend my days whining about the boring things i have to do. In my head thats all i do all day, but its been more than a week and i have neither an SSN nor a credit card nor a licence nor a car nor a house nor a phone connection nor solid prospects of getting any of these. I didnt have a blog post either, but i'm getting there.

-  Lessons learnt: kids can be exhausting, TV can be a life saver and flexible working hours are a necessity.

Welcome to the United States of America

I cant sleep. Its 5 in the morning and i've been lying around trying for a couple of hours at least. Finally i gave up and am now sitting at the PC at my cousin's place, eating a giant banana. Its been 3 days since we landed here, my jet lag seems to have finally caught up. If you ask me, jet lag should be more about feeling hungry at odd times, rather than feeling sleepy. I dont see how you can expect your tummy to take it lying down if you suddenly start to starve it throughout the day and feed it 3 times a night.

My entry into this country was pretty undramatic. After a 22 hour flight, where the only notable thing that happened was a failed search for vegetarian food at Hong Kong airport (i had to make do with a giant chocolate muffin and most of the dude's fruit salad), we landed at SFO. And rushed to the immigration queue, which, thanks to President's day holiday, was both long and slow. I feel like i've entered a country only after the immigration guy lets me through. This one did, after some questions about whether we were carrying pickles, at which we laughed. A part of my brain was observing which leg of mine first crosses the line. It was the left one.

After that was baggage claim, where we again answered questions about pickles and then a short distance later we ran into my cousin and her elder one. From then on (and even now) US has for me been  her and her family. About her and her husband adjusting their already crazy schedules to chauffeur us around, about her elder one and his boundless energy and TV viewing and the amazing sentences he makes up for homework ("No one will steal a dog just because they have dog food"). About the little one, who forgets my name every morning and makes do with "aunty" until she remembers. And when she does, comes up to me with a big smile and says "tannu thitti" - which i remain for the rest of the day. The dude on the other hand, is always called by his name (her distortion of it, to be precise). You cant have such a big name and expect a 2 year old to add chittapa after it. You just cant. When we landed they were both more comfortable with him, since he had stayed with them on his previous visit just a month ago. They crowded around him on the sofa, and all three of them spent the afternoon watching curious George. I was the stranger, the one they had to be shy of. A state of affairs which lasted less than 3 hours. Thats what i think i like most about kids - this almost magical ability to let people into their world within no time at all, to take them as they are and to get from them whatever they are capable of giving.

Its almost 6. Someone with a written test for learners license scheduled today is supposed to be up and studying. I suppose i better go check.  

Later!

Second homes

At some point in my life at a workplace, it starts to feel like home. There is no formula for when it will happen, but it largely depends on me finding my place and "my" people. At my first job, it happened surprisingly quickly (in about 6 months) - thanks to a bunch of just the right people at just the right stage of life. And the TT table and the badminton court :) At IIT, it took longer, almost a year, which is surprising given i was actually living there. It took me some time to find my place, but once i got there, it turned out the people had been waiting all along. It took much much longer at my second job (almost 2 years). I was in a bad place and not really looking for people, but what do you know, i found them all the same. (I distinctly remember standing by the coffee machine, from where you get a view of the entire floor, sighing to myself and wondering if this will ever feel like home). Most of my gang was made up of "kids" (except for one old man, who if i remember correctly was slightly older than the big bang), but it didnt matter in the least. Here in Bangalore, its only been a year at this job, and i'm not at all surprised it doesnt feel like home. What i am surprised at is that its been a year and i still havent found my place.
 

Belief

How do you handle the beliefs of those around you, especially ones that you do not share? Do you make them your own, or do you try your best to accommodate them in theory, if not whole hearted in spirit?

For example, i do not believe in Vaastu, but the dude kinda sorta maybe does. When someone asks him his stock answer is - i dont, but my parents do. But i think he'd rather be safe than sorry about the whole thing. It makes me cry to see south facing houses and plots go for much cheaper rates, just because the majority of the population wont touch them. But a house is something both of us will live in for a very long time, so of course we should buy something both are comfortable with. The question is - how far am i ready to go? Will I hire a Vaastu compliant interior designer (ignoring the fact that Bhai will most certainly kill me if i do) and nod along when he says the bedroom door should be on the ceiling?

This is just an example, and a pretty safe one at that. I'm still figuring out how far to take others beliefs. The whole thing would be a lot easier, i think, if i had beliefs of my own that other people would then have to comply with. At least that way there would be some give and take. Maybe i should start believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster and forbid the eating of noodles* in my presence. And also all my kids will be pirates. For global warming!


* because i am not very clear on what spaghetti is.   
 

Happy Old Year

I really wanted to write about the new one. With the million changes it promises to bring, there is no better excuse to make a new beginning - break out of old habits, start something new. But other the certainty that for this one to be truly different, I have to be different, i have nothing more to say. So i will take the lazy way out and write about how the old year was new.

- I went abroad! For the very first time in my long life, ladies and gentlemen. It was great, unforgettable in a lot of wrong ways and some right ones. And whatever happens, it'll always be the first :) My bag with our passports got stolen (it was only the second time my bag was stolen but if you'd heard my dad taking to the dude afterwards, you'd be forgiven for thinking i was some kind of a serial bag loser).

- I learnt to talk to strangers on the phone. This has terrified me all my life, i go to great lengths to avoid it. But we were (are, actually) looking to buy a house here and that involves a lot of scouring the newspaper and internet for ads and calling people up. When we started out, i would mark the interesting ads and then hand them over to the dude to do the actual calling. Now, if he had responded to this delegation with - You are the best for filtering out the ads, baby, i'll take it from here, i would never have learnt. Instead i had to pester him into calling, fighting all sorts of excuses (its too late/early/rainy, i'm not in the mood, who wants to buy a house, i am not calling people up from the loo. Eh? Whats the big deal in that?) So i had to learn to be self reliant.

- I lost both my grandmothers. I dont know, maybe because of the distance and the fact that neither of them were particularly capable of talking on the phone, in my head they are still around in Pune, waiting to be stupidly happy at the sight of a grandchild. And tell her for the 100th time, without taking the slightest offense to the fact that she doesnt listen, to wear some bangles and bindi and at least try to look married. I know i said they lived full lives and i feel sad but not cheated, but given what 2013 is going to bring, i wish they'd been around.

- The kitchen and I got used to each other. We are not the best of friends, but this year we certainly got better at tolerating each other's presence in our lives. Next year, one of the things i'd like to do is to turn this uneasy relationship on its head. Given my looming unemployment, time will certainly not be a problem.

- The car and I also got used to each other. The car may not see it that way yet, my co-passengers may not see it that way yet, the driver in the parking lot who sees me struggling to park and comes over to help may not see it that way yet, the dude may never see it that way, but its true all the same.

-  I did not shine at work. This is new, while i have never been been the brightest star or anything, i've always managed to make my place and be the king of it. Here, its been a year and i am still trying to be really good at something. Its not a nice feeling, particularly because most of the time i also feel underutilized. And scary because i dont know why i cant fit in. Am i in the wrong pond?

There might be more, but sleep calls. I dont think i will be awake to see the new year arrive. Apologize to it for me, will you? I had a wild night yesterday, staying up till 10 past 12, reading The Left Hand of God.
 

Random

The dude's brother is getting married in Feb. This is the first time that i got to see first hand, all the behind the scenes stuff that goes into getting a marriage arranged. Even though most of it was in Telugu, it was damn interesting! (Or maybe i filled up the blanks in my Telugu knowledge with the most interesting interpretation). The girls side had come with large numbers and a well coordinated plan of action - we didnt stand a chance! Go girl power! (i realize i am not on the right side to be saying that, but you get it, right? Right.)

The kindle is back in our lives with a bang. We have actually fought over it, if you are one of those people who gifted it to us, you will be happy to note. But mostly we get along fine because we more or less live in different time zones these days. I sleep by 10 at the latest, and what does with the kindle after that is none of my business. He is reading the Foundation Series and is at the last book (after which he has to go back to the first two).

My friend P saw a book at some airport (The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared) and read a couple of pages. She then sent me a mail from there, asking me to check it out. She thought both of us would love the writing style. I LOVE getting unexpected mails like that. While i was checking it out, i wondered how she was so sure i would love it - i never am. But then i read a couple of pages and HAD to buy it. It was hilarious - in just the way we like. But it was also for 600. I am still not comfortable spending that kind of money on books, so i pestered the Dude into giving me "permission" to buy it. He made a half hearted attempt at asking some questions (how many pages do you get for 600, how are you sure you will like it) but then gave up and walked away. I took that for a yes and bought it. I am almost done and will unhesitatingly recommend it to anyone. It IS hilarious. The dude's brother started reading it on our trip to Chennai, trying very hard not to laugh out in the train, dont ask me why. So now we have 3 people fighting over the kindle.

The office gym has gotten much much better and now has two good treadmills and one spectacular multigym. Its all i ever needed in a gym, and yet, i cant get back that regularity with which i used to go there when all it had was two sad treadmills and two ellipticals. Still, it makes me sad that i have less than a month to make use of it, before i become jobless and gymless.

Because no one at work or home appreciates my sense of humour

One fine evening i am at a discussion a few places away from my desk at work. I have not locked my screen, i never do. The perpetrator (hereafter known as the perp), who has a fetish for unlocked screens, sits at my desk and sends out the following mail from my Outlook.


Sub: Party at my house tonight!

It’s potluck. Bring your own booze!

Please RSVP, we will arrange transport back later in the night.

More details to follow.

Vinaya

He is mighty pleased with his work. The effect of which is somewhat dampened when no one - not one person RSVPs. (Let me not think of what that says about me). A little while later, my manager replies from home.

What? That's way too short a notice Vinaya - no fair!


To which, this guy, sitting very much in the office, replies.

Manager, you are missing a really good party. 


The next morning people ask me about the party and crib about the short notice. I send out the following mail.

Thanks for turning up in such large numbers, even though no address was given. And for ALL THAT BOOZE – my in-laws were most impressed!

And finally, though he couldn’t make it, thanks Perp, for stirring it all up. We missed ya!


People still ask me about the party. I show the mail trail to the Dude and i get a 'hmm". That is what i get from him for most stories. And keep getting it until i say - and they all lived happy ever after. The end.

And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Life updates

Lots has happened and is happening and will happen and i am here after a ridiculously long break to leak some of the happenings. Many a times during the break, i wondered why i dont feel the need to blog anymore. And the best i could come up with was - because it doesnt function anymore as a release for all my angst. Although thats not really an answer because why not? Its not that the angst has gone away. Maybe its that i've gotten good at locking it up in a corner and moving on with life.

Anyway. Now that my passport and Visa are safely with me (or will shortly be), i can declare that we - the Dude and I - will be moving to the US! For 3 years, though no one believes me when i say that. Lots of back and forth and confusion later, the finally plan is to move there in Feb. And i will be jobless from Jan. Yikes! When i was jobless before (between the last job and this - just for a month), i was extremely frustrated, terrified and whatnot. The dude couldnt understand why, and my big mouth told him its because there isnt enough to do around here and if this was the US i would never ever complain. Well, now we shall see. This bout of joblessness is likely to last longer than a month, but i'm hoping at least some of the coping mechanisms i carry in my head will work. If it doesnt, i will start a day care and make my cousin send her kids to me!

Getting the passport is a long an interesting tale that involves a lot of stories that cannot be attached to my good name. The Visa interview on the other hand was a non event. I will be going as a dependent, and the Visa officer didnt ask me a single question. Not one thing! I cant decide whether to be happy or insulted. How many times had i mugged up the name of Dude's engineering college and place of birth? And prayed that they dont ask me if i plan to work there, because i cant say no and shouldnt say yes? But - nothing! Our visa interview was at 8.30 in the morning and as usual my biggest fear was what if i get hungry in there. So i carried a bag of food. The guard saw my bag and asked me - where is your child? I told her the food was for me. She was not amused and asked me to get rid of it :( Other than that and some questions about the passports I lost, the whole process was smooth.

Thats it for now. Toodle-oo!

Transience

Why are life’s moments so fleeting? They never come to me in slow motion, wearing a pretty dress and twirling around so I can admire it from all around. Its always like I am watch them whizz by sitting in a train. I barely get time to register that something wonderful has happened before I’ve moved on to the mundane. Sometimes I think we should forcefully pause life and celebrate the good things. Like the exit of things that have finally been kicked off the TODO pile, where they had taken roots and had grand kids. Like things falling into place so beautifully, better even than your imagination. Like even maybe birthdays. Or Thursdays. But then, shouldn't the event itself be enough? Does the after party give meaning to the victory?

Spectacular things have happened to me and around me this year,  and I sit here and wonder, how big does something have to be, before it registers in my life as something more than a happy blip.

Break ke Baad

Not that anything spectacular happened. Either to justify the break or the return. Right now though, i have viral fever. Its got to my nose, my throat, my head and, i am ashamed to admit, me. So i turn to this old friend for comfort, hoping we've known each other long enough to accommodate long silences.

Whats up? More passport woes, for one. Every year the dude's office takes them to some nearby country for an offsite*. Last year, we couldnt make it because of passport issues. Cells in one corner of his head knew the offsite dates and cells in a totally different corner knew when his passport expired. When the twain met.... well, it wasnt pretty. He ran around and got his passport done  but it was too late.

This year, i went and did that thing to our passports. So when the time for the offsite rolled around, neither of us had our passports ready. But, and this is the unfortunate part, we had hope. So we gave our names for the offsite and went chasing our passports. Its less than two weeks to the offsite and both our passports are stuck in police stations in our respective parts of the country.

When i was travelling from Bangalore to Pune (for this passport** nonsense) i reached the Bangalore Airport with time to spare and went to the Shopper's stop there. There was a sale, okay? And i saw a maroon top and it fit and it was awesome and i bought it and in my excitement i left my purse behind. Yes. I didnt realize it until i reached Pune and caught a rickshaw to get home and got home and looked for money to pay the driver. My mom paid him and i went in and tried to remember where i'd seen it last. I remembered and called them up and they said yes its here and we will courier it to your address. Yes. Then they later called up and said they've given it to the lost and found people. Which was fine. Only i had no money with me so that was weird. I wondered later what would have happened if my passport had been in the purse. There would have been one suicide followed by at least 2 attempted murders.

Now for something completely unrelated to that P word. My mom has gone back to work. I dont think i can tell you how monumental that is, but let me try. Even if i knew that that Mayan prediction was going to come true, 2012 would still be the year my mom went back to work.





*Dont be misled by how casually i said that, like its no big deal. When i first heard of it, i refused to believe it. Especially considering that in my old office, we used to pay our way to some nearby local park. Good times, all the same.

** That word again! I think i have lost the ability to converse without bringing it up.

Pop goes my July

So one of the things that was rotting on my plate for a very long time is no longer there. Thats not a good thing, in case you were wondering. Its a "na rahega baas na bajegi baansuri" kinda solution to the problem, which is not what i wanted. At all. I want to hit myself on the head but i cant, and the dude is being all understanding, so will someone on the Internet please reach out and hit me one, thanks?

So, what do i do with July? With all the discipline i worked up? One option is to go ahead and do what i was going to do anyway, doesnt matter if there is no urgency. The thing is still important. But without a proper finish line, i dont know if i can run the race. I read somewhere that the most important thing about a goal is having one. But as of now, thats the plan.

What i did go ahead and do, is start the celebrations :D Saw Spiderman yesterday at a friendly theater nearby, which still has a "stall" and you can buy a ticket and go sit anywhere. Its awesome, its very near to home and you can just go buy tickets anytime, no advance planning required and its "cheap" and all the crying children around just add to the experience. With Ice age 4 and Dark Knight rises and Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter all due to release this month, i think we will get a monthly pass. I also bought this book from Amazon to read on the kindle.

It'll be nice if i can include discipline as part of my life, rather than having to pause life for it.

This is Juuuulyyyyy

(I know that you know. But that’s my new war cry, and don’t tell me the Spartans didn’t know that “this” was Sparta).

July is the month where I become a super-efficient machine and get rid of all the stuff that’s been rotting on my plate forever. July is the month in which discipline is my, do I say it, oh what the hell, bitch. The month in which I lose weight, the month in which I get rid of the devils that torment me, the month in which I bring out that legendary self-control that hasn’t shown its face in a while. It’s a month in which I am not likely to get much time to breathe, but that’s okay because come August, I promise myself the following:

-          A trip to someplace fun

-          Buy one book to read on the kindle a month. I cant believe I actually have to make myself do this. I thought I’d have to stop myself from ODing on the Kindle, not to mention custodial fights with the dude. Turns out stuff rotting on my plate puts me off reading.

-          House hunting. Every damn weekend.  Other than the time I am on a trip.

Yesterday was good. Today slightly less so. Tomorrow, its still Juuuulyyyyy.

Of grannies past

I was in Pune a couple of weeks ago to say goodbye to my last granny. My mom’s mom. Who had lived next door to me for the past 25 years, who was the most alive person I knew, who was no more. The last time I was in Pune in March, I was there to say goodbye to my other granny – my dad’s mom. Who was granny cool, even though you wouldn’t know it to look at her. Why in 2012 life woke up and decided I had an overabundance of grandparents, I cannot say, but as of now, I only have one left.
I am sad, but I am not bitter. dGranny lived a happy and full life. With occasional visits to the hospital, of course, but she didn’t cry wolf too many times. A few months ago her entire brood – 4 children, 8 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren gathered under one roof. In her own quite way, she went nuts. Wouldn’t stop smiling. That is how I remember her, sitting on the bed in my aunt’s home in Pune, green saree, big smile.

mGranny, who had too many interests in life to ever get bored (reading, music, TV, stitching), had been almost bed ridden for more than two years. Slowly, she gave up one interest after another. 6 months ago she fell down and fractured her leg and was completely confined to her bed. She was so afraid of falling off her bed, she made my mom tie a saree to the window and would lie on the bed all day, holding on to the other end. From carrying around 2 phones by different providers to make sure she could reach people whenever she felt like it, to not even be able to talk on the rare occasion I called, life slowly ebbed out of her.

In both cases the daughters were the primary caregivers, and so i felt, more than ever, the stupidity of the daughters getting sidelined in the A.D rituals, if I may call it that. I hope to live to see the day when common sense will be valued more than rules.

The armchair feminist

(because being anything more is very likely to get me kicked out of my own life. Which is, you know, tedha hai par mera hai.)

Every time i am involved in buying clothes for this little one, i am struck by the disparity in boy/girl clothing. For a hundred pretty things you can get for a girl, you will find one or two you have to settle for, for a boy. Some time ago i was predicting that within a few years, the cuteness of baby clothes will overwhelm people so much that gender lines will get blurred. Everyone will wear pink!

But then i wondered what if it had been the other way round? What if little boy clothes had been the cute ones? I can bet you anything, we would already be dressing little girls in them, crying about equality and whatnot. And do you know why? Because somehow, it is okay for a girl to look/dress like a boy, but not for a boy to dress like a girl. It is cool for a little girl to like trucks and guns, but embarrassing for a little boy to play with dolls.

Sometimes, just for this, i wish i could have twins - a boy and a girl. So that i can learn and show the difference between being equal and being same.

EU Diaries - Paris

Saturday. Morning flight from Rome to Paris. We packed up and said goodbye to the room and the kitchen and Rome. Just in time, since the kitchen had run out of clean utensils! Train to the station and wee bit of drama later, a bus to the Airport far far away. We landed in a Paris with 70% chance of rain. I had booked one of those places where people rent out a room in their home. We got there after buses and trains and walking, only to discover the following:

- i hadnt informed the host about our time of arrival
- i didnt have his phone number
- we didnt have internet
- i didnt have the phone number of my friends in Paris who had Internet

So basically we were stuck outside his building with nowhere to go. I should have either died out of shame or been killed in anger, but neither happened. The dude (who had switched into the costume of Mr Cool) asked every person who entered the building if they knew the host. We lucked out, one person not only knew the fellow but had his phone number and immediately called him for us. After some conversation in French, in which i am sure my good name was cursed quite a bit, we came to know that the keys to the house were in the mailbox and we were to help ourselves to it. The fellow would only return at 10 in the night. So we did, while wondering how people can give their home to people they have not even met over the Internet. We got in and found a long letter from the host that described all the various ways in which he had tried to contact us. And, the wi-fi password. I went online and discovered that the host had indeed tried all things to contact us. More shame, but not enough to kill.

It had started to drizzle and we were tired and not really in the mood to do much. But since we had only one day in Paris, we wanted to make it count. After many rounds of come-on-get-ready-no-why-are-we-going, we decided to call up my friends (P and S) and let them know we had finally arrived. They convinced us to get off our butts and go see the Eiffel Tower. Which i had always pooh-poohed at, but we went anyway. It lights up every hour in the night and P assured us it was a sight worth seeing. S also insisted we take the Seine river cruise afterwords.

We took the train and got to Eiffel tower. What amazes me is the ease of travel in all these countries. All you need to find your way is a map! For a direction impaired person like me, it is so... empowering! We reached there a few minutes before 10 and got to see it light up. It was.certainly worth it.Then we decided to go up and hang around. We were there till 12, so in all, it lighted up 3 times for us :) Since it was so late we ditched the cruise and got back home. Where the host was presumably sleeping but we didnt see him.

Morning was when we met him and he was very sweet about my whole stupidity. He offered to get us breakfast, but we wanted to "eat in Paris", so we asked him for directions to a good cafe and the Louvre and got out. The cafe was awesome, i wish i wish i wish i had had a few more croissants! Then to Louvre, where the entrance is free every first Sunday of the month. And this was the first Sunday of the month. Free stuff! That meant a mammoth queue, which almost scared us off. But we had nowhere else to go so we went and stood in the line. Took us 2 hours to get in. The louvre? Is great! If only they could have posted descriptions to what we were seeing in English, we would have been there much longer.

We got out in a couple of hours and got back home and met up with my friends. P i had met on her brief bangalore visit a few months ago, but i hadnt seen S since their wedding. We sat in the same cafe and recounted our adventures and talked some about the good old days when the three of us used to work together.

Time to leave. We went back to our room, where the next guest had already settled in. Picked up all of our luggage and left. Took a long train to the airport. The dude had by this time got back to his usual self and was fretting about reaching on time dont ask me why. We got there with plenty of time for duty free shopping as well.

We got onto our flight which would take us to Delhi. It had so many moves i wanted to see! Why cant i ever book a day time flight where i can watch movies from the time they let me to the time they let me? I cant wait to go on a really long flight to a really far away place! Only, after this one, i think we will give foreign travel a break.

EU Diaries – TGIF!

Friday morning. The day of the exam. The two of us are engaged in last minute revision. We should ask her this, we should carry that. 8.30 comes and I get to make the phone call. I HATE making phone calls, but I’m trying very hard to be an adult so I pack off my hate and pick up the phone.

Me: We are blah blah, do you have any news for us?

She: Yes, I have news for you. [Big pause, in which I die a million deaths}. If you come by 10.00 I can give you by 12, if you come later also no problem, I can give you by 3 in the afternoon.
Me: [Showing a thumbs up to the dude, who seems supremely unconcerned] So, we are getting our Visas today?
She:  Yes
Me: Thank you! [And then some incoherence].

I dance, the dude fights with the Internet for a ticket to Paris. I drag him away from his fight and off we go to the embassy. By this time we have figured out all the buses and all the stops. We make big plans about what to do the rest of the day. The Vatican, at walking distance from our hotel,  is at the top of the list. We run into the Swiss Embassy at 10.10. She shakes her head and says – “you are too late, come back for your Visas at 3”. Say what? We cant even hang around at the embassy because they shut for the public at 12 and getting inside after that is complicated. We give up and catch a bus and a train back to the hotel. Where I make lunch while the dude continues his flight with the Internet.

 

We leave early for the embassy. Who knows, at 3.01 she might say – you are too late come back on Monday. That would be good for her health. We reach there at 2.40 and are very proud. I go ring the bell and she says through the phone– “but I told you to come at 3, please wait outside”. Gaaaaaaaaaaah. We wait under a tree right outside. There is a woman lying on the bench opposite to ours, book in hand, soaking up the sun. It feels weird to catch a glimpse of a world not ruled by Visa issues. We stalk the dude’s watch and right at 3 go ring the bell again. We are reluctantly buzzed in.

 

Visas! We thank her very much. I have been wanting to give her chocolates since yesterday, but all that nitpicking about time has dampened my gratefulness a bit. All said and done, she went out of her way to help us out, so hear this Swiss Lady in the Swiss Embassy in Rome, you are awesome!

 

We get to the Vatican and look around. Its simply… fantastic. I don’t “get” paintings, and I certainly don’t know the story behind the scenes they depict, but I can still spend hours there and not be bored. We climb to the very top of the tower and are greeted by a great view of the city. We walk back to our hotel, to dinner and pack up.

 

Its time to say goodbye.

EU Diaries - the Swiss Embassy Day

Woke up and caught the train to catch the bus to the Swiss embassy. Yesterday i had looked up the bus number, route, stops etc and we had got kinda lost. After telling me in no uncertain terms that i am useless at maps and directions, a thing i think he took personally given what he does, the dude took it on himself to plan the journey. Go to station A, catch bus B, get down at stop C, turn left and walk 20 steps and whatnot. And then we went to station A and got onto bus Z and got lost all over again :D

We walked into the Swiss embassy and told this girl there our sob story. She took some time to understand why Indian tourists were in the Swiss Embassy in Italy. Then she tool all of our documents and came back 20 mins later to tell us that since we were dont with the swiss leg of our journey and were going to France, we should ask the French people for a Visa. We had to convince her that she was our only hope. Very reluctantly she took in our papers and made copies of every one of them. Did you read that, Indian Embassy? She said she would try her best, but it all depended on whether the Swiss Consulate in India sent her the information she needed. Dude had asked Bhai to contact the Swiss Embassy in India, so we knew they were ready and willing. "Call me tomorrow morning, and i'll let you know if you if you need to come", she said. We paid up the Visa fees and got out to a fine Roman mid-morning.

Next stop - the French embassy. We wanted to know if there was any chance we could fly into France without a Visa. They said haha.

We then went to the Pantheon and walked from there to the fountain of Trevei and had gelato there (much hyped, IMO). Got back to the hotel, had slightly better Upma for lunch and then just lazed around. In the evening we went to the Spanish steps. Got back. Pasta again. By this time, the dude had discovered some huge knives in the kitchen and was lost to all useful activity. Some childhood show, it seems, where some guy comes and does funky things with big knives. He went at all vegetables we had with the knife, i think that was the most excited he was during the entire trip.

All during the day, i had the pre-exam feeling in my stomach. I kept dreading the phone call that would decide whether we got to go back home according to plan. You see, the day was Thursday, tomorrow would be Friday and our return ticket from Paris was on Sunday. If we didnt get a Visa on Friday, we'd have to stick around in Rome till Monday (at the least) and look for other flights home and what not. The dude however, was fine. Better than fine. I dont know if he had a dream about it or something, but he knew that we would get the Visa tomorrow. For a change, i was the worrier.