Auntygiri

(Or should it be Auntiegiri?)

Not new, the concept has been around for as long as Auntys have. But now, cutting across age and gender, it has attracted the unlikeliest of followers. So, how much of an Aunty are you? Take this quiz and find out!

1. Do you always assume that everything that can go wrong will go wrong and prepare accordingly?
(reaching the (Indian) railway station an hour in advance, carrying food for 3 days for a 12 hour journey, umbrellas a month after rains have officially bid goodbye...)

2. Do you think that taking risks for non life and death issues is stupid?
(stupid to go out beyond ankle level into the sea, stupid to climb the gate when you can call the watchman, stupid to sit on the terrace parapet wall...)

3. Do you subscribe to the idea of society as a watchdog?
(that barks when you get home late, barks when you go watch a movie alone, barks when you do not follow the prescribed life cycle...)

4. Do you believe that our ancestors have figured it all out, and all we have to do is follow?
(they knew what to eat, when to eat, how to eat and I represent them, so eat! In other words, do you see the world the same way your parents do?)

Score: Give yourself one point for each question you said yes to.

Score                 You are a
-----                    -----------
0                         Antiaunty
1                         Miniaunty
2                         Semiaunty
3                         Superaunty
4                         Megaunty


No, you do not get an opinion. You are not being judged, not by me at any rate. I just show you where you are. Where you want to be is none of my business.

Its not just a moral issue, this not wanting to pick a side. I just cannot see the thing in black and white. Auntygiri has saved my life more times than it has messed it up. I was once saved from walking back home several hundred kilometers because one miniaunty told me to keep my money distributed. In case your purse gets stolen, she said, which it did. We all know (and if we don't, we can guess) what happened when there was no Aunty around to remind me to carry my train ticket. If its about the numbers, Auntygiri wins, hands down. But its not. Cause when Auntygiri messes up your life, what remains is this unrecognizable mess that you can neither own nor disown.

There i go. On the middle path again. I wonder why i bother thinking at all, when i know that for every yes or no, i will come up with a maybe.

Kahani ghar ghar ki

(Its all very cliched, i know. But it hits you only when it hits you)

Her fight beings before she does. The walls of her mothers womb are not strong enough to keep the big bad world out. They want to get in, they want to get her. She doesn't know why, she doesn't know how, but she fights. For her right to life.


She knows that the earth goes around the sun. She knows all about oceans and seas and snow and rain. She knows her tables up to 10. So what if she has never been to school? Her brother has, and if second hand knowledge is all the world allows her, so be it. She will take that and fight. For her right to a better life.

She had come first in her class. She couldn't quite make up her mind whether that was the high point of her life or it's biggest joke. Whatever happened, no one could take that away from her, but how did it matter? Did it make her a better wife, daughter-in-law or mother? For that was all she was and if life had its way, all she would ever be. Unless she fought. For her right to be all that she could.

Such a handsome guy! And in such a great job too. And from such a respectable family. I wish all girls were as lucky! How many times had she heard that? Square peg, square hole. What could be more sensible? How does it matter what peg you fit, as long as it is square? If only people were like pegs, she thought. Wouldn't life be infinitely simple? She would never have to fight. For her right to the guy that fit her soul.

She was good. She knew that. It wasn't enough. She knew that too. She had to prove herself, everyday, to people who were waiting for her to fall or even stumble, so they could write her off. She had to be on her guard all the time and yet be friendly because she needed them. They were the opponents as well as the judges in her fight. For her right to her heights.

She wanted to dance. Run barefoot in the grass. Spends days in the woods with only trees for company. Travel. Stop in the middle of nowhere because the sunset looked nice. Hear the old man's tales all day long. She wanted to be a butterfly, flitting from flower to flower. The word fight did not really belong in her world, but she had to let it in. For her right to fly.

A country living in many centuries. It doesn't really matter which century you are born in. All that changes is the fight you have to fight. Is live and let live really that difficult to practice? Why do we have to fight the past to get to the future? Why does every saas forget ki woh bhi kabhi bahu thi?

Not to be

I've found something else i don't want to be. I figure if i keep at this long enough, I'll eventually be what i want to be.
I don't want to be included in the log that people seem to fear and respect so much when they say "log kya kahenge". I do not want to dictate peoples views, actions, lives, definitely not indirectly, definitely not as a nameless, faceless mass that cannot be argued with. I do not want to be the reason Mrs Subramaniam's daughter cannot cut her hair short. I also do not want to be the reason Mr Sharma stubbornly refuses to take his errant son back into the family. I definitely no not want to be the reason Srygdh abandons his plan of murdering his wife and running away with his secretary. Not that i am for his plan, not for a moment, but I'm not comfortable with that kind of power. I cannot walk around knowing that one encouraging nod of my head and the next thing i know, poor late Mrs Srygdh's ghost has taken up permanent residence in my bathroom, moaning about how her life was incomplete because it ended before she could get her daughter married.
Seems to me there is only one way to not be what i don't want to be. And that is, to stop letting log's opinions dictate my life. Once i do that, i automatically lose the right to disapprove of any one's life choices. I'll be so far down log's morality scale, I'll be out!

Murder she wrote...

(I could kill. But instead I write. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword.)

Why do I have to choose?
Why does no one review my code?
Why is it that each time I expect (and hence am prepared for) my neighbours dog to bark my arrival, he is safely inside? More importantly, why am I never prepared when he does bark?
Why am I not the way I am supposed to be?
Why am I not the way I want to be?
Why are the two so irreconcilably different?
Why is my hand in a cast for an operation on my finger?
Why is there not a single coffee addict in office?
Why is there no beach in the world where it snows?
Why am I always always always in two minds? (Does it mean I'm twice as intelligent?)
Who do I feel better even after writing crap?

I eat therefore I am

In a completely nonsensical attempt to explain the mystery that is Vinaya to a friend, I came up with the answer "I eat when I am hungry". After I said it I realized that it actually makes a pretty good mission statement. Excited, I came up with many more. And then I got bored. These don't even cover all the people I know well, so I doubt you will find yourself in there.

1 . Eat when hungry:
Keeping life simple. Cause and effect. An uncluttered mind. Living in the present.

2. Eat at mealtimes:
Living by the rules. Safe. Predictable. Inflexible.

3. Eat if ( (hungry && you_like_the_food && you_have_company && food_is_hygienic && (!not_going_to_gym_in_10_mins)) ||
(mealtime && you_not_likely_to_get_food_for_a_long_long_time) ||
(food_going_waste) || (mom_says_so && in_the_mood_to_listen) ):
Complicated. Unpredictable. Will take so long to decide whether to eat or not, might end up having no time left to eat. But will be happy with the decision all the same!

4. Eat if the weather is good:
Random. Totally unpredictable. Mysterious.

5. Eat during a public speech. Your public speech:
Shock effect. Living for an audience. Rebel without a cause. Unconventional.

6. Eat if and only if you feel like it:
Very determined. Not swayed by anything, sometimes including logic! Unpredictable. Unconventional.

Hmm. I don't think people can be boxed neatly into categories. Like, I see a bit of myself in 1, a bit in 2, also some in 5 and almost but not quite entirely none of 6.